August 11, 2009

Taking the hobbits to San Francisco.

I went to San Francisco last weekend for a friend's wedding. A weekend surely isn't enough time, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself and wanted to share a few things I learned during my stay.

I hate toll booths.

Words cannot describe my utter rage for them. I've never been partial to toll booths, ever, I don't like the idea of have to stop and pay while I'm driving, or having to pay at all. The worst thing about these toll booths, though, is the sheer amounts of traffic they create. Stop and go traffic for over a half hour is a half an hour too much for me. It probably doesn't help that I'm prone to car sickness (though I thought I had gotten better considering I've become rather bus savvy since moving to Seattle) and was threatening to kill my driver in my sicken stupor while my head was dangling out the window.

At least I had it better than my other friend, the person driving that car rolled up her window the minute she rolled it down.

I would never leave SanFran if I lived there.

You cannot enter San Francisco without paying some kind of fare. Period. I'm sure the tolls are necessary, really, but after living in a state where tolls are virtually non-existent (never living in Gig Harbor ever), I can't stomach the idea of having to pay to come home.

However, I doubt I would care too much having SF as a prison. This has to be the best prison food ever.

Of course, this kind of food also exist in my SanFran prison, and it haunts me in my nightmares.

Seattle is a small city.

I've known that Seattle is smaller compared to other big cities, but inner SanFran confirmed that for me. I wasn't even in downtown and I was surrounded by four sides of concrete. And you know SanFran is a bajillion times bigger than Seattle when it can justify having a gym the size of the Pantheon (and look like it, even).

The French are more interesting outside of France.

I won't lie, my friends and I have several jokes about the French despite us being rather indifferent to them (I'm sure the French have some lovely jokes about us as well). Jokes like...them being the enemy and hitting each other with baguettes, or how I now hate America because I may have kissed one of them. Ahem.

Anyway, the truth is, despite living in the U District and having attended a large university, I have not had the chance to mingle with many foreigners. While these guys were drunk, they were truly nice and not the snooty and jackass perception many of us have about the French. Perhaps they were just looking for some pretty American girls, however, I think they were more curious about America in general. And maybe also why I say I'm from America when I, as said by them, don't look English.

From that last sentence, I'd like to point out the irony of any European that says Europe isn't racial conscious like America. I've never once had someone here question the validity of my nationality due to my ethnicity.

Also that those guys freely admitted that there are several places in Europe suffering from gross amounts of racism.

I need to stop saying this is the sketchiest bar ever.

Last year I went to Blue Moon and proclaimed it to be the sketchiest bar ever, what with the floor littered with peanut shells and hobos. And then I found this bar right outside of China Town. It looked innocent enough, very small and not too busy. However, the bathroom, holy shit the bathroom.

The flash omitted the scariest part about going to and actually being in this bar's bathroom: the dim and flickering lights. Also that the walls weren't completely connected leaving huge gaps of darkness, holes in the wall, lack of locks on the doors, etc. I honest to God though there were cameras hidden in the wall gaps and holes and a group of men somewhere were watching me and bidding on who was going to shoot me while I was peeing.

I want to say that's the sketchiest bar ever, but once I say that I'm going to end up in an even sketchier bar, and probably dead.

Being up at 4am does things to your vision.

My friend dropped me off at the airport at 6am for my 10am flight. By 6:30am I was through airport security and on my way in search of noms. The first thing I saw after walking out of security is this:

A ten foot plush orca (I named him McLovin). I almost think SeaTac put him there on purpose, to freak travelers out in the wee hours of the morning after having to shuffle through security. Perhaps they think the giant, smiling orca will placate any rage security may have caused.

It may have worked.

Alley cafes are the best and worst thing ever.

SanFran knows how to manage space. Stick six restaurants inside of an alley? SUCCESS. I saw many alleys full of cafes while wandering around the six block vicinity of my hotel. However, you know what alleys are also full of?


Isn't that scrumptious?

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