July 27, 2009

Everything I need to know in life I learned from Pike Place Market.

Working at Pike Place Market has taught me invaluable life lessons, more so than all the ones combined from watching every season of Boy Meets World (I'm convinced that Mr. Feeny probably setup shop here back in the 1700's, and thus how he learned all about life). Today I thought I would impart a bit of knowledge, a little glimpse into what surely takes a normal human being decades to learn-- if they're even lucky enough to do so.

Keep in mind that I sell fruit (mainly cherries right now, but moving into large, pitted fruits). This impacts the knowledge I'm about share with you somewhat, but that shouldn't matter too much.

1. Cherries have pits in them.
Boy did I not know that until I started selling these babies and a fellow mate in ignorance decided to try one in order to let me know whether or not cherries are pitted.

2. Different types of cherries are grown in Washington.
All of the cherries I sell come in boxes labeled "Washington Cherries." I figured that's what their name was, "Washington Cherries." Not "Bings," or "Rainiers," or "Vans," or whatever signs my employers ask me to put around the display boxes.

3. American money is hard to decipher because it isn't color coded.
I learned this from a European today. American paper money is really hard to count and confusing to use because it's all green, which means people actually have to look at and be able to read the number denomination in order to know the value, instead of being able to say, "Aha, pink is worth 500 dollars!" because the Euro is the currency of the entire world. It was invented before the Greeks.

4. Different types of cherries taste different.
So what if Rainiers are yellow and red, they're still cherries, so they must taste like Bings, right? In fact, all cherries taste like Bings. Even marcino cherries and cherry flavored Starbursts.

5. Just because it's a Farmer's Market in Seattle doesn't mean there aren't farmers selling from a foreign country.
When stating the name of the town or city your product is from, always make sure to say the location is within the state of Washington (example: "These cherries are from Cashmere, Washington"), otherwise consumers will rightly think your fruit came from Kashmir.

6. The best way to entertain a baby is to take multiple free samples.
Really, you just don't understand that hardships of child rearing and needing to steal handfuls of firm fruit in order to entertain your toothless baby by putting them in your own mouth.

7. It's important to know the prices of your competition states away from you.
Arizona is selling fruit cheaper than you? Make sure your lower your prices in order to sell competitively despite being several hours away!

8. The ONLY correct way to say "apricot" is "ah-pree-cot."
Not that the pronunciation isn't a regional dialect or anything. It's important to abide by the linguistic rules of the side of the state that doesn't grow apricots at all.

9. Always have a debit/credit card machine!
How dare a farmer's market be predominately cash only! I need to use my card for a $1 transaction that'll cost the local farmer at least 50 cents to process!

10. Always know where the nearest Japanese Animation and Comic Book store is located.
You never know when an otaku will need to get their fix outside of the International District.


11. Make sure you know what kind of fruit your selling.
Just because the box says they're cherries doesn't mean you aren't actually selling midget plums.

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