Nerdy Rabbit

Salmon (or any fish) Spread

2011-10-03T16:01:00.000-07:00

I know you've all probably had a simply tuna fish sandwich-- some canned tuna slapped together with mayo and squished between two pieces of bread. My boyfriend ended up with a surplus of canned Salmon and I thought, well, why not try to make something like tuna fish? But better? He went all adorably wide eyed, because how do you make salmon spread fancy without taking a lot of time? Well, here's how you fancy up a canned fish spread in about ten minutes with some alternative suggestions for ingredients in parentheses.

It's Chinese Boyfriend Approved.

-2 cans of Salmon (or tuna, or whatever)
-1/2 a container of whipped cream cheese (this can be substituted with mayo or sour cream)
-1 green onion (or half of a small bulb onion)
-4 to 5 baby dill pickles (or sweet if you like that better)
-1 small celery stick **optional
-1 small carrot or a few baby carrots **optional
-1 table spoon of mustard (I use sweet hot or honey, but any mustard works)
-Garlic salt, pepper, and Tabasco to taste-- usually a few good shakes of each.

1) Drain salmon, this is a perfect boyfriend or kitchen novice exercise. Empty both cans into a medium sized bowl and stir with a fork breaking up any large clumps.
2) In another bowl, add half a container of cream cheese. Stir this until it's easier to work with or heat it up for a few seconds in the microwave. This will make it easier to mix with the salmon later.
3) Add mustard, spices, and Tabasco sauce to the cream cheese and mix well.
4) Finely chop your veggies and pickles and stir them into the salmon.
5) Add cream cheese mixture and stir until it is evenly mixed with salmon.

From here you can make your normal-but-now-extra-exciting-tuna-fish-but-really-salmon sandwich with a couple of slices of bread. Or you can spread it on pieces of baguette, crackers, pita, etc.

The world is being Sucker Punch(ed).

2011-04-01T12:48:00.000-07:00

The more I read reviews about Sucker Punch, the more I realize that these people clearly are not the demographic the movie is intended for. They complain about too much CGI, too many fight scenes, why doesn't it have more plot, why is it a bunch of girls, why doesn't it obey the physics of reality, and how dare it be such a flashy action movie. It's like The Expendables all over again.

The only complaint that holds any water is whether or not this is a exploitation film and how this effects the portrayal of women. I feel that's a fairly in depth question that could go either way if people weren't so busy dismissing movie simply because it is all females kicking ass.

Let's be frank, people, this. Is. An. Action. Movie. It's troperific, full of homages, and is fully self aware. If you could actually pay attention, it is full of symbolism, it makes fun of itself, the genre, and the demographic it is intended for, but at the same time takes it seriously.

The three realities are not confusing. They're pretty straight forward. I felt some of them weren't introduced very well, but that doesn't mean that the lines are blurry-- the lines are very clear. It's like I'm listening to people scream about how confusing Inception was all over again, which wasn't confusing at all, and Sucker Punch is even MORE obvious than that.

If you're not a nerd, if you don't like action movies, if you're looking for something deep and meaningful that you're unable to decipher for yourself, if you don't like bright and flashy visuals, if you don't like cliches DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE.

If you're not comfortable seeing a group of girls kick ass in skimpy clothing because women should be able to kick ass in anything, that's fine. If you're not comfortable seeing a group of girls being exploited by men, being forced to sell their bodies as symbolism for being constrained and raped while in asylum, that's also understandable. You will probably not like this movie.

This movie is essentially five girls seeking power to escape death. They find agency by using the skills they have to fight. Fight their constraints, mental and physical. On the flip side, how they find empowerment can be a fetish for men. The director admitted that when Baby Doll dances and entrances all the men in the movie, likewise he intended to have all the men entranced by her kicking of the asses in the alternate reality she enters when dancing. This movie works both ways. It exploits women in the movie and exploits the audience watching it. Whether or not you are comfortable with that, whether or not you base your opinion of the movie on that doesn't change the fact that a big damn action movie shouldn't be critiqued for having too much action.

The real life roleplaying in board games.

2011-03-20T15:51:00.000-07:00

The other night I played Arkham Horror for the first time as Joe Diamond whose abilities coupled with my superior rolling really saved my ass the entire night.

For those not familiar with Arkham Horror, let me explain: It's a several hour long board game where the game brutally attempts to kill you at every turn with monsters and demi-gods, while you're just a lowly human with $7 to your name. Why this is so much fun...I really don't know. But it is.

Until you're brutally killed, anyway.

After playing board games for a while now, it dawned on me during the middle of Arkham that there are distinct types of players.

Ooo, shiny! That one guy that wants to buy and own and horde all the special items regardless of how truly bad they are because, "Omg, it'll give me +9!" "But only once, this item will give you +5 all the time." "...but it will give me +9!" The guy that thinks all his useless items are going to save his ass and the rest of the game, when in actuality he's going to get his teammates killed.

Case in point, my friend spent several rounds attempting to close a gate, almost killing himself and me in the process because the board hates me and threw me into his portal during his long struggle of beating it into submission hoping that his hoard of items would save him.

They didn't, actually, what did save him was...

God Gamer The person that basically knows everything about the game mechanics, the cards, predict what the game may do next, what series of events would screw over the entire party, and so forth. He bails out the Ooo, Shiny! 90% of the time as he usually ends up with the item transferal ability.

Mod Gamer The guy that wants to control what everyone in the party is doing in order to bend to his in game agenda. Need to kill that monster for the last token you need to seal a gate, and sealing gates is what wins the game? Too bad! He's going to kill it instead because his character doesn't have any tokens and he definitely needs one in order to buy this spell he really wants on the other side of the board that he may use never.

Focu--SQUIRREL The one who is most invested in the game at the beginning and ends up doing something entirely not related to the game towards the end.

The Girlfriend Unfortunately this was me for a while because I had no idea what was going on at all. The one that needs their hand held and directions reiterated to them on every single damn turn they take. You probably even need to tell them how to roll the dice or pick a card as they probably won't be able to figure it out on their own. I was given the express direction to kill and seal gates, and so I did, becoming the--

MVPony Player that basically does more than half of the work, then gets shat on at the end. I sealed three gates by myself, one by beating Ithaqua on my own (yes, ON MY OWN), and raced through a forth gate that was being sealed by Ooo, Shiny! In fact, I sealed two gates and ran through the third two turns after Oo! Shiny attempted to seal his first and only gate. And then tried to kill me by sealing me inside of it.

Of course, there are other types of players, like Failmind, the person that tries to be the master mind and orchestrate everyone else's downfall in the game, only for it to horribly backfire in the end resulting in reaching bankruptcy first. The Hoarder that attempts to own every item, card, your potato chips, and every tangible thing in existence (I usually end up being the Hoarder) just for the sake of having it, and usually becomes the prime target for thievery by death towards the end of the game.

Bottom line, it might not actually be the board game trying to destroy you, but your friends unintentionally sabotaging you.

Thank You

2011-03-09T22:28:00.000-08:00

Back when I first really got into reading blogs, I stumbled across Bakerella, a really fun and happy woman sharing her sweet creations with everyone else. I use her cake ball recipe yearly for Valentine's day. I check her blog every Monday when it updates because it's such a pleasure to read her entries and look at her pictures that are posted with such obvious joy. Her blog is one of the few I read that isn't snarky, isn't about pointing out the idiocy of others, and doesn't find humor in the stupidity of someone else.

Her blog is about pure happiness and positivity and just good things, and I am extremely sadden to hear that her donated kidney has failed.

There is a lot of pain and a lot of suffering in this world, and Bakerella acknowledges that she's fortunate to have such a fanbase and has been able to do what she loves to do these past few years. But for a woman who has brought me and so many others a little bit of happiness each week with such a positive and loving attitude, she deserves some love and some wishes, and I hope she'll be able to continue to bring a smile to our faces for several more years to come.

Pioneer Square Eatery

2011-02-12T14:29:00.000-08:00

I probably shouldn't say this, but I work in Pioneer Square. I have a feeling that there's perhaps a few things in my blog (and maybe in the future) that could be...compromising, but whatever, I want to talk about food.

Specifically, lunch.

Admittingly, I eat at work 90% of the time because they give me free food. Who can pass up free food? But some days, those rare 10% days, when either I have a wild craving or the kitchen is too slammed to meet my hunger needs, I roam the streets of Pioneer Square looking to shove something into my face. And thus, my list of food establishments was born.

This is no means a complete list and I'll probably have to do a follow up post in the future. I have yet to go to Tat's and, really, venture beyond a block radius of Pioneer Square Triangle Park, but if you're down here in the area, let me tell you what to get, what to miss, and what's passable if you're starving.

Major Chains

Well hey, maybe you don't want something new, maybe you just want to stick with something familiar in an unfamiliar place. I get that, and fortunately, this area can meets your needs. If you like sandwiches and coffee.

In Pioneer Square you will find: Subway, Starbucks, Seattle's Best, Taco Del Mar, and Jimmy John's. I haven't had a problem with any of these shops (well, except for Jimmy John's as I haven't gone in). The staff has been friendly and welcoming enough.

Local Fair

Julie's Garden: Standard Asian fair with Julie usually at the restaurant herself. I've only had the beef phad thai and it was pretty meh. But the staff is really nice and they're quick, so I wouldn't mind going back and trying something else off the menu.

Pho Ha: The pho here is awful, don't bother. The broth is watery and toppings are skimped, plus it's just slow. They do offer other items, but with "pho" in the restaurant name, you'd think they'd be at least decent at that, so I'm hesitant to try anything else.

Thai Taste: Some days the phad thai is garlicky and yummy enough, other days it's really bland. Some days it's fast service, other days it's just painfully slow. Their better staff works on their busier days and, even though it is "busy," I suggest going during that time anyway as everything about the restaurant is better in quality versus their slow time.

Maharaja Cuisine of India: Definitely not great or even that good of Indian food, but with a really cheap, seven days a week buffet from 11am to 3pm and take out boxes are under $7, it's really hard NOT to eat here. Plus I like the hostess, she's really nice and remembers me, even if it's months between visits.

New Orleans Creole: I like this place, my dad adores it. Cheap and delicious lunch menu with the most hilarious older waitress I've met. At night they sometimes have live jazz music without a cover charge.

Tigs Asian Tapas Bar: This place also has okay phad thai, but the floor and table tops were horrible sticky and the waitress never mentioned to me that they charge extra (a considerable extra) for take out boxes until after I had received my order and she rang me up. This is why I haven't returned.

Coco Banana: While the establishment looks really minimal and uninvitingly sterile, the employees are really nice and the smoothies are delicious. I got a banana smoothie and they put an ENTIRE large banana in it. The store mainly functions as a large salad bar. I've never had a salad from here, but the produce looks fresh, so I'm tempted to some day. The place is also very concerned about staying green, so you can feel better knowing that if you do use their products, it's recycled material. You can also bring in your own container instead of using one of theirs.

Cow Chip Cookies: I'm really particular about my cookies, but for those who like the really traditional chocolate chip, these are some of the best. Unfortunately, they are very expensive. Bonus if you can snag some right out of the oven.

Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory: This place is expeeeeeeeensive, but offers some really delicious candy apples. I recommend anything that has the fluffy peanut butter stuff on it, OMGYUM.

Grand Central Bakery: Another pricey place, but everything I've had from here has been great, and I've been here several times. My favorite is still the carrot cake, but I bought a large German apple pound cake from here, and it was delicious. Also love their muffins, giant cinnamon rolls, tarts, and...yeah, I think you get the picture. They also serve coffee.

Cherry Street Coffee House: I came in here for a bagel, it was a delicious bagel. I don't drink coffee, so I don't know if their coffee is any good. I can say that some of the people who frequent here are the type that like to vocalize stupidity concerning politics. If you can't stand listing to extreme tree huggers of the liberal kind, I suggest purchasing your delicious and quickly exiting.
Pizza Pro: The owner is basically here every day and makes it his mission to remember every customer that enters his shop. The pizza is mostly thin and crispy, and good. This isn't cheap pizza and the price isn't super cheap either, it's definitely a tasty and worthwhile lunch place.

Mario's Pizza: The other pizza shop in the area, it's cheaper and you get more for your money, but the quality is lacking. I enjoy buying large amounts of garlic bread, which is why I go here on occasion. You can also purchase ice cream if you're so inclined.

The Berliner Doner Kebab: A restaurant supposedly about "German" sandwiches owned by someone clearly not German. The food is so-so and not really worth the price. They are a newer establishment, so hopefully they'll get better with time.

New heights in Classy.

2011-02-05T21:45:00.000-08:00

Jeff Gallagher: Hey Cali, how do you feel about a rum and coke?
Cali: Sure!
Jeff Gallagher: How do you feel about drinking it out of a bowl?

And undergrad life post-undergrad continues.

How to make an impressive cake in non-impressive ways.

2011-02-04T19:09:00.000-08:00

If you didn't know, Valentine's Day is quickly approaching. There are two different ways you can go about this joyous (or joyless) holiday of chocolate merryeatery:

1) Like the parentheses capture, be completely joyless and fester inside of your emo cave refusing to enjoy the bounty of 50% off chocolate bound to come your way on the 15th, slamming on your WASD keys until your mage reaches level 60 so you can commence with a hollow celebration at the nearest 7-11. Hey, slurpees are delicious.

2) Embrace the holiday by ignoring your New Years resolution to not eat your body weight in things so bad for you, but taste sooo good, and decide to go to the gym some other time.

I prefer the second. I also understand that some of you spend this day sending off gifts of delicious to other people, which is quite nice of you, but I'm greedy. Well, not really, I slave for days in the kitchen making delicious things for people who burn water on a regular basis.

Ignoring that, I thought I'd go ahead and share some tips and tricks for making really basic desserts look and taste better in order to impress your special someone.

Summon better cake.

The easiest way to impress someone is to make something completely elaborate and time consuming. I personally make dozens of cake balls every year, which is a three day ordeal for me (the pay off is I get to watch people engage in ferocious office and friendship battles over them!). Rainbow cake and cake balls are a sure fire way to win over anyone due to their appearance-- and for cake balls they're just so damn good.

BUT, for those of you who are like, "WTF is a spatula?!" Never fear! For there are a few ways to make a basic meh!cake become an mmm!cake.

1) Add food coloring. No, really, just add some food coloring and you can turn a white cake into a sugar soul sucking pink cake, or whatever color your person fancies (purple over here, y0). It will make you look creative AND thoughtful as you took the time to take that extra five seconds to squeeze in a few drops of coloring before mixing up the batter.

2) Use a shaped cake pan. This isn't particularly helpful if you're on a budget, but presenting the cake in unique shapes also helps. Heart shaped, star shaped, dinosaur shaped-- any shape but square or circle will make this cake extra special.

3) Make it mini. Girls will love it, guys will be too concerned about getting laid to say they don't love it.

4) Use unique flavoring. Nowadays, it's fairly easy to buy extract of various different flavors not always available in boxed cake recipes. This doesn't mean you have to make a cake from scratch (OH NOES!), simply add 1 tablespoon - 1 1/2 tablespoons of your choice of extract to the cake mix. You can also do this to frosting.

5) Never underestimate the power of Cream Cheese. Cream cheese frosting is the frosting of the gods.

Mix and match the various different tips. You could do a chocolate cake with mint cream cheese frosting with the frosting bright green in a star shaped pan. You could do heart shaped cupcakes flavored with raspberry extract and dyed a deep purple with chocolate cream cheese frosting. You could even do a standard sheet cake with strawberry flavored cake and bright orange cream cheese frosting.

Just, basically, DON'T FORGET THE CREAM CHEESE FROSTING.

**Notes: As I've mentioned in previous posts, Gel Food Colors provide bright and more intense coloring than regular liquid food colors. Substituting oil with apple sauce will make the cake more moist. If you're making cookies, take the cookies out one minute before the recipe calls for if you're looking for a chewier cookie. Also add an entire tablespoon of vanilla extract to chocolate chip cookies.

Trust me, your lover or your mouth will love you for it.

Also, Jeff Gallagher will probably read this blog entry.

When dependability is no longer dependable.

2011-01-24T13:02:00.000-08:00

Kilt Guy wears kilts. Every day Kilt Guy wanders around the office building doing whatever Kilt Guy does while wearing a gray kilt. I have a suspicion that he wears the same kilt, or owns five to ten of the same kilt design, but without fail, Kilt Guy wears a kilt. It's a constant, it's how you know everything is right in the world. You could use Kilt Guy wearing a kilt as undeniable proof that you're correct forever as long as you asserted that Kilt Guy wears a kilt.

Until today, anyway.

Today, Kilt Guy wore jeans. And the world mourned.

Well, not for me, personally, as kilts just aren't my thing. Every day I would think to myself, "Geez, Kilt Guy, ever thought of jeans?" Day after day, week after week, month after month, always the same thought as Kilt Guy wandered about the building unawares of my private war with his garments...and then, low and behold, my mental waring paid off!

And what did I think to myself? "WTF, KILT GUY? TREACHERY IS AFOOT!"

Clearly his unconscious appeasing of my fashion standards also crossed my line of betrayal, so tomorrow we'll see if he returns to the kilt or not.

Unresolved credit.

2011-01-23T10:58:00.000-08:00

Jeff Gallagher wants you to know that he introduced me to League of Legends, that game I keep talking about that is slowly draining away any semblance I have of a life.

If you do not value productivity in your life, I urge you to join, too. You can thank Jeff later.

Gender in gaming returns, sort of.

2011-01-16T10:07:00.000-08:00

This probably comes as no surprise, but I'm still playing League of Legends like it's the only thing keeping me alive, waiting for it to deliver rainbows and unicorns at my doorstep. I enjoy the game quite a bit, especially since a good chunk of my friends play, and by extension their friends. If we're all on at the same time, we can easily make a custom 10s with people left over.

That said, LoL has made me retract my previous statement and opinions on girls in the gamer community. Earlier I said I hadn't met much opposition in the multiplayer games I play despite my gender, especially in the Halo community. I'm not a good Halo player, but I went running in, guns blazing, mic on, and my teammates never made a derogatory comment regarding my abilities in correlation to gender. I figured that if this attitude were to be prevalent anywhere, Halo would be it, right?

That isn't to say I've never encountered that type of behavior. I have a few guy friends who make such remarks, and one that certainly believes males are superior gamers (and also throws quite the manly fit if I ever beat him in anything), but I've never heard them say similar things to other girls, so I'm chalking it up to being part of the dude circle.

I'm sure you can see how this is going to correlate with League of Legends...or can you?

LoL is the first time I've experienced heavy trolling and childish attitudes. Name slinging, cursing, and complete with nearly incomprehensible grammar. My user name is rather feminine as well, which is why I have been hassled and mocked for being a gay male.

I'm having a hard time trying to verbalize exactly how I feel about this, but I suppose I can do it this way: What the fuck is so wrong with you that you think gay bashing is acceptable?! And what does sexual preference have anything to do with gaming ability?! At least a small and maybe plausible argument could be made about gender considering the genetic makeup between men and women are different, but sexuality? Really? Do you really think liking men inpairs ones ability to hit a button faster?

And no, I'm not talking about the general, "Omg ur so geeehy!" comments when one is losing, but honest to God gay bashing for no reason other than to be a homophobic dick.

Let me tell you, little gamers, while your home town or little tent village or whatever hellhole you reside at may find it acceptable to lynch those who prefer the same sex, the rest of the world doesn't feel the same way. Maybe not all the world, but certainly good chunks of the world that you interact with online. Now that LoL has implemented a new system dealing with rude gamers, hopefully we'll never have to see you again.

However, the downside to this is out of all the people in that 10 person game, only one other person aside from me called him out on homophobia and how it isn't relevant to gaming. Only one other person. I understand not wanting to get involved in stupid little flame wars over a game, but your silence is what keeps this type of behavior going, and your silence isn't going to solve this problem. We're a community, perhaps it's time you join it.

Nom Nom - Spanish Rice

2011-01-02T12:45:00.000-08:00

Not to toot my own horn, but my favorite thing about what I typically cook is how it's easily adaptable to one's personal tastes. This is why I typically forgo the practice of offering measurements as I believe that, if you really like feta cheese, I'm not one to suggest how much or how little you should put in there. I'll give my opinion, of course, and suggest alternatives but ultimately cooking for yourself is about you, so make it how you like it!

That said, Spanish Rice is totes easy and very adaptable so long as you and whoever else you may be cooking for like tomatoes and beef. And rice.

In order to make it exactly as I have, you will need: half an onion, 1ib of thin cut beef, 1 can of stewed tomatoes, 1 can of diced tomatoes with green chilies, 3 cups of rice (uncooked), chili powder, garlic powder (or fresh garlic), and brown sugar.

Other suggestions: cheese, 1 can of any kind of bean, lime/lemon juice, and any additional spices that you like (for example, I think yellow curry powder would be quite interesting).
1. Place three cups of uncooked rice and 1 can of diced tomatoes with green chilies in your rice cooker. Make sure to add extra water as the tomatoes and chilies will increase the water line causing inaccurate measurements. If you don't have a rice cooker...uhm...good luck!

2. Place the half onion face down and slice the entire onion from the side. I prefer big chunks of onion, but feel free to dice as wanted. Add these to a large frying pan and set to a medium-high setting. Cook until they are semi-translucent until moving on to the next step.

3. Slice your beef into bite sized strips and add them to the frying onions. Let this combination cook together for a while, but you can add lemon or lime juice here.

4. After your beef is as cooked as you want it to be and onions fully translucent, add the can of stewed tomatoes and any spices you want (also beans). The green chilies in the rice should bring a little bit of a spicy kick when introduced to the beef mixture, but you can add more hotness here as well. Brown sugar is completely optional, but highly recommended. I love spicy-sweet, which is why I added it.

5. Once the rice is done cooking, add it to your beef and tomato mixture and stir together.

6. EAT UP! This would be the time to top with cheese if you want to, or stick it inside of a tortilla for burrito action.

This dish should only take as much time needed to cook the rice, so about 20-30 minutes.

Rainbow Dragon Cake of Awesome

2010-11-26T18:05:00.000-08:00

For two of my friends' 25th we decided to throw an early Thanksgiving dinner to celebrate, and one of the food items I elected to bring was a birthday cake. They didn't know what kind of cake, and one of them spent nearly every day persuading me to make whatever outlandish cake he felt like having at that moment.

In the end, I decided on this beauty:

Well, that's not exactly how it looked at the end (I added some pirate action figures and a large gummi alligator for good measure), the castle may have been more leany-- but that's basically it.

Oh yeah, I did mention it was a RAINBOW cake...

Pre-cooked cake batter. Yum.

There are lots of rainbow cake and rainbow cake recipes out there, this, I believe, being the original. But I'll go ahead and give you a brief run down here, the cake is that easy.

You'll need:

1 box of Cake Mix (or any other cake recipe, really) that is white or close to in color.

1 package of food coloring GELS. The GELS part is important, capitalized for emphasis of importance.

Frosting, decorations, etc, are completely optional. For tips on the rice crispy Dragon and marshmallow castle, scroll to the bottom.

Basically, follow the directions for the Cake Mix accordingly, though I highly recommend substituting oil for a proportional amount of apple sauce (not only is the cake healthier this way, but more moist). If you're using a plain white cake mix and want some flavor, add a tablespoon of any extract you desire (I used raspberry). Next you can either bring out six smaller bowls or just one bowl that you continually clean between each coloring because you're a masochist like that. In each bowl pour equal amounts of batter (or if using the same bowl, I recommend using a measuring cup) and then mix in the appropriate gel coloring.

You should use gel instead of regular food coloring because gel colors are much more intense and will result in a cake that looks like this:

The colors are even brighter in person, I kid you not.

Layer each color ONE AT A TIME. I recommend smoothing the first layer with a spatual so it covers the entire bottom before dumping the next layer on. Do your best not to mix the layers together so the colors do not mix into some angry brown glob.

If you used apple sauce instead of oil, after the cake has cooled you will want to place it in the fridge for a bit so the frosting is less likely to tear the top of your very, all over moist cake.

Marshmallow Castle tips:
Oh dear God that castle...it was so difficult and turned out so ugly. Maybe you'll fare better than me.
-Marshmallows were dipped in water, then immediately rolled into gray sugar crystals, then set on wax paper to dry.
-A bajillion toothpicks were used to hold up this castle.
-Unlike what I did, BUILD YOUR CASTLE ON A FLAT SURFACE IN ORDER TO REDUCE LEAN!!!!

And now...the DRAGON.

The dragon was made using a basic rice crispy treat recipe with green food coloring. I recommend making extra just in case you accidentally break your dragon in your mouth and need to make another. Let the cereal mixture cool a little before dumping globs of it into sheets of wax paper. If the mixture is too warm, it will stick mostly to the paper and be hard to sculpt. Too cold and, well, it will be hard to scoop out of the pot.

Let the treats cool completely inside of the wax paper. The treats should still be sticky enough after cooling to assemble like so:

Enjoy!

Where MMOmbies eat me alive.

2010-11-15T12:47:00.000-08:00

League of Legends. This game is soul sucking.

It's free. It's basically PvP with some tower defense thrown in for good measure. And it looks nice.

If you're waiting for the catch, the catch is that it rotates it's free characters to play every week. In order to keep a character permanently, you need to buy them. BUT you can buy them earning in game currency, which is done by completing a round. I easily bought my beautiful 3150 point Morgana in about a week.

That means I probably don't have a life. Whatever.

I was introduced to this lovely time wasting game by vigorous screaming and hooting by several of my friends hunched around computering devices, the glow of screens illuminating their pale complexions. Of course, some of these feral noises transpired through Skype. It was quite the experience, listening to in game taunting and bright flashes of light as nerds screeched over the sound of their champions dying.

I just knew I had to play this game.

The downside to being the girl who doesn't care about winning playing with boys who only care about winning is that it's hard to find time to play with them, namely because I'm a handicap to their winning. My 11/0/17 score tells them to suck it. Because I scored that, I think this game certainly has a champion for every playing type, I know I certainly found mind (super grieving mage ftw).

The down side to LoL? I've been reduced to WoW type rambling, and it feels so dirty. I avoided WoW, mostly because I'm cheap, and maybe I'm a bit of a snob since, you know, WoW is the ruiner of lives and such. Almost like how New Super Mario Bros. is the leading cause of divorce.

You would be funny if you lit yourself on fire.

2010-10-23T12:38:00.000-07:00

This seems to happen quite a bit to people in service jobs, so I'm just going to lay it out here in my blog, because I can. Because I'm annoyed and uncomfortable, and pissed off that customers think it's some kind of game to see how uncomfortable they can make me since they know I'm not allowed to be less than polite.

MY JOB IS NOT A GAME, and I don't appreciate you treating it as if it's a joke. As if I don't need it to live, so if I blow up at you due to your inappropriate behavior, I will be punished for it and not you. And you think that's so funny.

Your jokes at my expense are not: Cute, clever, interesting, and will never be funny. Ever. They certainly make you an asshole, though.

And it certianly isn't MY FAULT that you now feel uncomfortable and like a jackass when I don't laugh at you MOCKING ME.

There are appropriate ways to interact with people in customer service, insinuating that they are somehow stupid in any way for performing their job, asking them uncomfortable questions, and ridiculing them for taking their job seriously IS NOT appropriate. If you're competent enough to understand what you're doing is rude, and I know you do as you and your little friends are giggling, why don't you understand that it makes you worse then all the stupid customers we get combined? Because we know you know better, and it makes it just that much more frustrating and potentially ruins our day.

Thanks for that, really, I hope you're pleased with yourself. I'm sure you absolutely LOVE IT when someone comes in and makes your work day just that more difficult because they think it's funny.

It's a women's world.

2010-10-18T17:04:00.000-07:00

Shape What’s to Come. For You. For Your Community. For the World.

It's a website dedicated to the growth, mentorship, and companionship of women reaching out to the world through creativity and social change. It's created and sponsored by Levi's, so yeah, there's some executive meddling there, but the idea and prospect is just too awesome for me to pass up. I've always wanted to do bigger things, creative things, and make my little imprint in this world and be more involved.

So I'm going to try this and NaNo, and probably whine all about how I fail in here, but that's just how it goes, right?

Step one will be excuted soon, hopefuly not never. I just hope Step Four doesn't take too long.

Cookies for Breakfast

2010-10-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

My twin told me I have the worst eating habits and that my cravings are weird. Weird, but delicious. She recently spent some time explaining to her step brother why Flaming Hot Cheetos need to be eaten with pieces of bagel (a staple of my high school diet), to which he earnestly replied, "Uhh...why not just eat the Cheetos without the bagel...?"

She very matter of factly told him, channeling my fourteen year old self, "Wrapping the bagel around the Cheeto keeps it from turning your fingers red."

It also deadens the intensity of the heat, but for some reason that seems much less reasonable than the Red Finger argument.

I also love spaghetti sandwiches, it's basically just like eating spaghetti anyway, only the pasta is wedged between two slices of bread (bonus points if it's garlic) instead of being garnished with bread. I put brown sugar in my chili, lessen the amount of butter in my chocolate chip cookies so they have the consistency of cake, and will only eat eggs with Tabasco and ketchup. I like bacon on maple bars (actually, I just like bacon, period), syrup on my eggs if I'm eating them with pancakes, and usually cook stuffing with some kind of fruit, dried or fresh (my favorite is fresh nectarines). Speaking of fruit, I love pineapple on my peperoni pizza, screw Canadian bacon!

And right now I'm eating cookies for breakfast.

I've also craved all of the following at the same time: phad thai, pho, fried rice, top ramen, Indian food, garlic fries, Tim's jalapeno potato chips, and cheese.

I mentioned that list on my Facebook once, and I got several replies asking how my pregnancy is going. It's been over a year now and I think it's still going well. I plan on birthing Unicorn Raptor sometime in the near future, already have his room set up and everything.

For years I didn't think I ate very differently from everyone else, and I've often accused others of eating outlandish concoctions. It wasn't until I moved to Seattle and made friends with people who were not used to my eating habits at all did I finally realize that I eat odd things (mainly because they made it a point to yell about it every time it happened). I also realized that I don't eat very differently from everyone else considering that we all eat something (or several things) odd.

Just don't bring shrimp chips when you go fishing, okay? Your white friends won't appreciate the fishy waft coming from your bag and not at the end of their fishing line.

Femininty in Pistol Whipping

2010-10-12T00:18:00.000-07:00

In Gamer Informer's October issue, they told a girl the only reason why she was being heckled by male players was because she was good at the game being played, and that anyone who outperforms assholes will be harassed by assholes. They completely bypassed the first 2/3 of the letter where the girl described that she was being jeered for being a girl, and then it worsens once the guys learned she could actually play. Since I'm so pleased as to how GI conveniently overlooked basically her entire letter, I thought it was due time to blog about the supposed conundrum of being a nerd and being a girl. Or, how nerds treat girl nerds.

Though, I'll come out and say it, FPSes are a special kind of brofestering pool since games such as Halo certainly aren't nerd exclusive. In fact, the intended audience is MALE MALE MALE MALE. It's only recently that I feel developers have realized that, oh yeah, girls like to play these testosterone driven experiences, too, and try to incorporate female characters for women to identify with. Metroid being an exception here, as Samus as a woman has become more prevalent over the years instead of Samus as a robot that, omg, flashes a bikini at the end.

There's a lot more I want to say about female characters in video games, a lot that I probably should say, but we're talking about how guys ask me to be their baby mama over XBOX Live, right?

I'll be honest, there have been times when my high pitched, girlish voice has caused several interesting experiences based solely on my gender. Yes, I have been asked to be a guy's baby mama. I received a torrent of messages from a user asking about boobies. However, being honest again, the percentage of this occurrence is low. I've spoken to, gamed with for long intervals, and friended for future gaming excursions several males who have been nothing but awesome. Conversely, it's my own friends that take potshots at my gender while gaming.

Am I saying this girl who wrote into GI is lying? Certainly not. I also believe the game being played creates an entire different atmosphere when it comes to interactions. Personally, I find it really hard to take anyone seriously while running around in giant purple armor fitted for a woman who has birthed an entire nation of children trying to shoot down terrified grunts billowing green gasses. Halo is just that kind of a game, intense, but laid back. Medal of Honor? Gears of War? Well, I find it funny how seriously those games and gamers take themselves, so perhaps I'm not the best person to pass judgment here.

Admittingly, I'm not very good at FPSes. I think I'm passable depending on the nature of the match. I'm not very good at platformers, either, and action platformers usually frustrate me endlessly. My friend told me I epitomized the reasons why gamers hate the new generation, and all I could think of was, "Gamers hate people who have fun?" I pick games I have the most fun, and usually these are types of games I find most playable for my abilities. I think it's a bit elitist and ignorant to assume that FPSes and action platformers are the only genres in which Real Games are produced, and that you're not a Real Gamer unless you play them, and often they like to cite my gender as reasons for my apparent deficiency.

Also, how did I miss the oldbie bus? I remember playing Super Mario and blowing on cartridges and that stupid laughing dog.

I want to note here that I find it interesting that I'm ridiculed for my playing habits while they completely cream themselves at the idea of their girlfriend even holding a controller with the intention of play and not trying to organize it with the rest of the living room they had just finished cleaning. That girlfriend will continued to be pampered and loved for rolling a Katamari into a wall while I'll be ridiculed for finishing the roses level because that should be time spent playing a Real Game.

I play tacticals and RPGs. My favorite series is Fire Emblem and my favorite RPGs are Tales of Symphonia, Chrono Trigger, and Earthbound. I love puzzle games (I'm currently beating people in the face with my level 16 in Tetris Battle over on Facebook), racing, and fighting as long as I don't have to string together complex button incantations. Why yes, I do play Smash Brothers, and yes, I do button mash the hell out of any Mortal Kombat type game. There's something about the intensity of a game that directly correlates with my ability to process anything more than KIIILL. And I mean more of an instant intensity, real time. Tacticals can create the biggest headache and strain known to man, but trying to remember how Ivy unlinks her sword into a chain while being beaten savagely in the face with Nightmare's nightmare sword? Uuugh.

Interestingly enough, this makes me exceptionally good at games like Hulk Ultimate Smash where you focus on one singular goal. My boyfriend at the time was so concerned about how to gain the most points that he was easily out smashed by me who decided everything was my enemy and it all equally deserved to be beaten into nothing.

I guess what I'm really trying to get at here is that gaming is supposed to be fun, not about winning or being the best. And while winning and being the best is certainly enjoyable, and that may be the only way YOU enjoy gaming, that shouldn't prevent others from enjoying video games in a different way. If you have fun creating complex love lives for your Sims, shooting people with bullets, or finding that last item to finish your collection; whatever it is that makes you happy, that makes this game fun and worth you time, that's all that matters. That isn't a weakness or a problem with gamers today, and that certainly isn't one that directly correlates to gender.

Halo: Reach - a brief review.

2010-09-15T03:00:00.000-07:00

Resurfacing from my fragging daze to report that no one ever wants to capture the damn flag when there's tanks!

Well, except for this one person, and my team promptly obliterated him into tiny tank and banshee fodder. LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU, FOOL.

I cackled like a mad woman as I circled the opposing base with my tank, setting it ablaze like a Christmas tree gone horribly wrong. Best five minutes of my day.

Reaching for $20

2010-09-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm fairly certain you can still preorder Halo: Reach from Amazon and get the $20 off your next game purchase promo. Do I need to mention this is a sweet deal, especially with Kirby's Epic Yarn coming out in a month? No, I don't.

But it is a sweet deal.

Plus the promo for Amazon Prime is going on. One month free trail for unlimited free 2 day shipping (1 year free trail if you're on Amazon Student).

And because I can, in other gamer related news I finally finished Tales of Vesperia and love making Karol dress as a stupid looking frog. Also that Rita set his head on fire. I also played so much poker that I have some really nice 10% TP and HP recovery bracelets for Yuri and Judith and finally have the damn sword with Glory. Labyrinth of Memories is going to be so much fun.

...SPLISHY SPLASHY WATER COLORED QUEEN.

PAX Prime 2010 - The Finer Points

2010-09-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

Yes, I most certainly went to PAX Prime this last weekend and slept very little, but had a damn good time. Normally I'd write some kind of wrap up entry with pictures, videos, and so forth, but if you haven't found them already, chances are you'll never find them here as I've resigned to the fact that my blog isn't popular outside of in my mind. I did want to hit a few key points, though.

-Paul and Storm are still amazing. I'm still baffled as to why they're stuck as an "opening band" as they easily steal the show and make it so very hard for Jonathan Coulton to meet and exceed their energy and stage presence. Did I mention they're amazing? Because they're amazing.

-Kirby's Epic Yarn is also amazing. It's super fun and it really is amazing graphically. I'm not sure if it was just the setup at the Nintendo booth, but you'd never know that it was playing on a system notorious for low graphic capabilities. The image was sharp, smooth, and not a hint of pixel in sight. My friends and I were comparing this with Metroid M that was released recently, and while we agree that Metroid M is certainly towards the end of nice looking Wii games, Kirby's Epic Yarn is miles above it. Frankly, it's miles above anything I've seen on the Wii.

Okay, okay, graphics aren't that important, the gameplay is nice and a lot of fun, and just the fact that it has comparable graphics to 360 and PS3 titles just makes it a delicious little addition to my Wii library. It has collecting aspect to the gameplay, and anyone who has seen me play a Lego game knows I LOVE collecting crap.

-Raskulls is super fun. I played it a few times since it was usually fairly quiet around their booth, which is unfortunate because it really is a very fun multiplayer game. I highly suggest checking it out when it's released this month. One of the developers mentioned it was to come out this week? I haven't seen it on there yet, so who knows. It's a very colorful platformer that has a lot of Mr. Driller type of gameplay incorporated in to it. God do I love Mr. Driller.

-I've been playing Lego Universe Beta lately. So far it's fun, not quite what I was expecting, and really capitalizes on my adoration of Lego games.

-A word of advice to panelists, I didn't wait in line for an hour to listen to you, uhhhhm, verbalize, uhhhm, trying to think, uhhhm. I'm looking at you, Bungie.

-A big thumbs up to putting Magic cards in the swag bags. They came in handy quite a bit. I have the red goblin deck that I could never get to start very fast, but oh well.

-It is really not a good idea to rent a venue several blocks away from the main convention site. Many people who attended PAX may not know this, but the Symphony hall is basically two station stops away from the convention center using the bus tunnel. When the city of Seattle decides that the transit system needs two stops between the convention center and Benaroya Hall (on it's 5 stop tunnel system that covers 3 neighborhoods), that may be an indication that the venue is too far away. It isn't so much a having to walk issue, but more that it's time wasted in transit. Plus space is rather limited in comparison to last year, and that's always disappointing since the larger events were held at that hall this year.

-It is very important that YOU BATHE PROPERLY. WITH SOAP. AND WEAR DEODORANT. I know that in these very hard and financially trying times of the recession that it's difficult to justify spending good money on soap, money that could be spent on a rare DND figure, but I hate you. I also hate you if you're expending bodily gases in the Expo hall and on the escalators and stairwells. There's a reason why they gave us shampoo in our swag bags this year, MMKAY?

-I hope Double Rainbow never goes away.

It's morphin' time!

2010-08-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

I'm fairly honest about the fact that I love the Power Rangers. I say honest because I don't deny it, but only fairly because I'll never tell if no one asks. Considering that I'm 24, I feel that's a good policy to live by. Anyway, I decided to share this little tidbit about myself because I recently came across Linkara's wonderful season by season video review of the series. He has them indexed on That Guy With the Glasses and the latest review, which is for Time Force, is currently up on his blog.

I also decided to share said tidbit since I have yet to give out any concrete information about my identity, so my shame is safely untapped. :D Also because I wanted to share that I bought an action figure of Zordon. Yes, there is an action figure of a FLOATING HEAD. And maybe also because I feel compelled to write an entry some day geeking out about colored spandex.

Since I'm on the subject of super heroes, I want to give a shout out to two fairly well known websites, so my shout outs are probably unnecessary, but it's my blog so whatever. Project Rooftop (a spoof on Project Runway, which is how I found said blog as I love PR) focuses on super hero fashion and Girl Wonder concerns feminism in comics. I rather enjoyed their website dedicated to Super Girl.

It was either a falling meteorite or a falling plane.

2010-08-13T00:58:00.000-07:00

I'm going to break my habit of not blogging by blogging.

I've never seen a shooting star before. Ever. I've seen many a plane and satellites which I was convinced as a child was proof of a hostile alien takeover in the immanent future (I also believed all mountains were just dinosaurs covered with lots of dirt waiting to be reawakened from their centuries long slumber). Perhaps my friend is proof of some sort of clairvoyance as I found him at my apartment door not long after 10pm demanding I step into the car for an "adventure."

Well, after he used my computer to look up directions for the adventure. Directions we lost ten minutes into the adventure and still haven't been able to locate (he's convinced they're firmly stuck to my rear while I think his pocket ate them). We eventually found ourselves at Cougar Mountain which reminded me quite a bit of my hometown. So much in fact that the minute I stepped out of the car my small town girl instincts took over and asked the city boy if he had brought a flashlight.

City boy then asked me if I had brought a flashlight.

Let me tell you, three years of living in Seattle and using a DS as a reputable light source during power outages and general activity lulls has negated one's need of flashlights. While city boy certainly loves being in nature more than I do and has probably interacted with it more in the last three years than I have, I think it goes without saying that he did not, indeed, bring a flashlight.

Nor a blanket or something to place under our heads while laying across some very comfortable dirt and dry plant life.

So we trekked the dirt road to the top of Cougar Mountain with cell phones and a very dubious flashlight glare from a couple trailing behind us that decided to follow us up (if anything set off my serial killer horror movie alarms, this would be it) until we reached the anti-air zone. Sprawled on our backs becoming friends with the dirt, we watched the night sky, nearly as dark as it is back in my hometown since we were away from Seattle proper. He found a shooting star rather quickly. I found airplanes and more satellites.

Eventually, though, a slow trickle of dying meteors streaked through the skies. I think he was expecting something bigger, and I would have liked seeing a bit more of them myself, but I was satisfied with one. Happily content with two. And exponentially increasing as I began to see more shooting stars than airplanes as the night progressed.

To everyone out there looking up at the sky, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Also, beware of the aliens.

30 Days of Blogging - Day 18: Your pick!

2010-07-17T16:47:00.000-07:00

Alright, since this is a My Choice for Great Justice day, I decided to write about Inception, the latest summer thriller everyone has been buzzing about this week-- and for good reason. It was a great watch. I went to the 1am IMAX showing at Northgate last night (prefunked with some delicious Beth's) and was so glad I did.
Non-spoilerly bits:

-The movie is labeled as a thriller/mystery/mind bender-- it isn't. Unless you aren't paying attention, which you should as it's that kind of movie, everything is neatly explained in a very forward manner, and this continues throughout the rest of the movie until the heist aspect of the movie begins. This certainly isn't a bad thing, not at all, because the story was so strong that I didn't care about the predictability of it. It's refreshing to watch such a movie that doesn't rely on plot twists to be engaging, but on what matters most, the characters and the story.

-Joseph Gordon-Levitt is my new favorite thing. Like any squeeful woman, I went on whims placing Chris Pine and Ryan Reynolds in the same category shortly after Star Trek and X-Men: Wolverine came out, but JGL is different. Okay, yeah, I do find him ridiculously cute, but guy can act. I knew this beforehand, but this was the first time I've seen him portray a character that wasn't quirky, or boyish, or any other label currently reserved for Michael Cerra. No, this JGL is a kick ass man. Like Crispin Glover, but with an All-American boyish look than makes him an unassuming threat upon first appearance.

If JGL has anything near resembling Arthur's sense of humor and bit of suavity, you can come invade my dreams any night!

-This isn't directly related to the movie itself, but all the previews attached to my showing were awesome. HP7, I'M TOTES EXCITED FOR YOU.

Spoilerly bits:
-Okay, the ending: I personally would like it that Cobb ended up with his children, HOWEVER, given that 1) his kids never aged beyond his memory upon meeting the, 2) kids also never changed their clothes, and 3) the idea of the totem was his wife's, not his, means that all of this could have been a dream. He could have dreamed up his perfect woman, which would make any of her ideas a dream, therefore making the totem an unnecessary item that only he placed worth on, and subsequently convinced others to do the same, which is why it doesn't matter if it falls or not.

What I find most indicative is the kids, though, as children change tremendously over very little time, and a year is sufficient enough for some notable changes to occur.

I think Cobb is the subject and his father is the invader, or perhaps Mal is a real person and she is the invader, and when she left Cobb's dream by "committing suicide," he created a shade of her.

OR Mal really is his wife, she really did die, and he lives through his dreams regretting that they never grew old together and was unable to properly care for their children. The guilt being so unbearable that it even penetrated his dream state, specifically the level he considered to be reality. I'm also not opposed to the idea of Page's character being his real daughter trying to pull him from the dream world.

In my happy world, though, Cobb has his children and Arthur and Ellen Page's character are a couple. SHIPPING IS SUPER IMPORTANT, OKAY.

The best thing about this is the sheer number of ways the ending can be interpreted. I'm betting there's going to be some delish flamewars erupting all over the net because of it.

-JGL kicking ass and taking names throughout the entire movie, especially during the second level where gravity became an issue, was one of my favorite parts of the movie. The sequence I mentioned could easily be my favorite scene, and probably helped fuel my new love for the actor.

-I actually really enjoyed watching Cillian Murphey portray a vulnerable, gullible, and troubled young man as he's normally something twisted, slightly sinister, but still seems to have that candid personality. It's not a question of whether or not he was capable of doing so, but just nice to see. Really miss his little Crane specs, though.

-Limbo is weird. It always resembles Cobb's limbo. Even when Saito enters limbo and Cobb washes up on his beach, I don't know, it still felt more like Cobb's limbo than Saito's...unless everyone starts out on the beach? Since everything is from Cobb's perspective, I'm hesitant to think anything in this movie, especially in the dream state, isn't colored by him in some way.

-So when I have dreams about Power Rangers, I'm going to forever think from this point on that Rita and Lord Zed are some evil guys trying to implant ideas into my mind. :(

30 Days: Day 17 - An art piece.

2010-06-21T18:15:00.000-07:00

I totally did not ignore my blog for several days on end. Nope. I really did post this the day after day 16, promise. I mean, would I lie to you, dear internet? Would I be stingy with my oh so Very Important blog posts? Only Asians are stingy and I clearly am not an-- oh wait, yes I am. MOVING ON.

I thought about doing something sarcastic, tongue in cheek, a joke...something clever. But I decided to go against that because I have this blog, see, this other blog that I sometimes devote attention to but mostly ignore like a red headed step child. Actually, I adore red heads, so maybe an Asian step child. We don't need love since we don't have souls.

Anyway, I thought I'd go ahead and share my favorite sculpture, something I intended to do over there on that blog, but since I hate it and all, I'll share it here first.

*pets Nerdy Rabbit* Yes, mummy loves you best.

Apollo and Daphne by Gian Lorenzo Bernini. Marble.

Skipping all the historical blab that you can surely click for yourself, yes, this is basically a statue monumenting a Greek god attempting to rape a feminine figure. Someone will probably ask me to revoke my feminist card for this, but just hear me out. Considering that the subject matter is so old and is a depiction of a myth AND was created in a time where the feminist ideals we hold dear today were hundreds of years away from being conceived, I'm going to give it a pass.

Plus I just think it's kind of hilarious that Apollo's wood is being cock blocked by Daphne turning into wood.

What I love most about this statue is the technical achievements Bernini was able to produce as well as obviously conveying artistry through how fluid the figures are. Normally sculpture tend to be very ridged because, hey, they're made of rock, and rock is hard to work with, and the more straight lines, the better. But Bernini clearly said to hell with that! and made the whole thing move. Move. It's like a Matrix action sequence permanently stuck on pause.

It's hard to see from this photo, but on top of that, Bernini went all balls out in displaying his technical skills. Notice the drapery wallowing around Apollo's midriff, Daphne's turbulent curls, her entire lower body texture as tree bark, and finally, my favorite bit, her fingers turning into leaves. Leaves that were sculpted so thin that light bleeds through, like real leaves.

The Baroque era often has many negative stigmas attributed to it, and some for rather good reasons (it is fairly gaudy as hell, though not quite as bad as Rococo which would probably suit Edward Cullen quite nicely), but it capitalizes on the idea and continuation of depicting realism in artwork that the Renaissance started.

30 Days: Day 16 - A song that makes you cry.

2010-06-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to pick a song that makes me cry. Uh...I can think of several songs that hold very strong, sometimes sad memories for me, but I can't think of a single one that has ever moved me enough to cry. God Help the Outcasts was probably the closest I ever got to showing any kind of sadness from a song alone, which wasn't a lot. Disney is probably the best at creating these widely known tearjerker moments, but I tend to think that's actually a meld of song and visuals in order to produce that kind of effect.

I cried at the beginning of Up, but I'm fairly certain that had more to do with watching Carl's life unfold than the soundtrack, which certainly helped, but probably didn't take the cake for why everyone was bawling uncontrollably.

On the other hand, these Disney child stars and the alike make me sad inside. Except Zac Efron, he's way too fabulous for all of that.

30 Days: Day 15 - A fanfic.

2010-06-10T21:59:00.000-07:00

Today is fanfic day, and in true fanfic fashion, it's time to see how JK Rowling feels about all of this.

The J. K. Rowling Sessions

J. K. Rowling, aged 44, considered mentally and physically sound until not too long ago, laid sprawled across a burgundy leather sofa, or lounge chair, sofa chair. She felt bits of thought prattle around inside of her head, her blue eyes darting across the off white ceiling, side to side. Sofair, chafa, sofalette...that son of a bitch knows exactly what this thing is called and he's keeping it from me, all smug behind that little pipe of his.

J. R. R. Tolkien sat in a wheeling chair, rocking slightly while puffing on his well worn pipe, unaware of Rowling's furrowing brow urging rocks to fall upon his very spot as he wrote a series of squiggles onto a yellow paper pad. "Tell me, Jo," he began, extracting the pipe from his mouth as he flicked his pen, finishing the last of the line, "May I call you 'Jo?'"

"I suppose so since we've seen so much of each other lately," she replied flatly shifting her body towards him.

"Very good, very good," he mumbled, making another mark on his paper, "Tell me, Jo..."

"Yes?"

"Why do you find your predicament so troubling?"

"Well, wouldn't YOU find it troubling?"

"I suppose if it were me, we wouldn't be discussing you," he answered looking pointedly down at her as he changed his crossing leg.

She responded with a polite snort. I'll just call them "mental lounger madoos" in the wizarding world, take that you elf loving man.

"Can you verbalize that, please?"

"Look, John; may I call you 'John?'" He nodded, placing his pipe back in his mouth, already scribbling away. "So, John, my precious baby boy, Harry, as you know him, was recently instigated in a number of lewd acts involving leather pants and other unmentionable leather things."

"Is there an issue with leather?"

"Now that you mention it, yes," Rowling replied, immediately sitting up, "Because wizards do not wear leather. It's just not fashionable, and for Slytherins it's just unthinkable."

"How so?"

"Bikers and little emo kids wear leather pants, and last I heard a group waging a war of mass genocide aren't revving their Harleys or bartending in the dark," she grimaced, flopping back down onto the couch. "And that's not the end of it, you know."

"Oh? What else?"

"Hermione, my Hermione, my precious, smart, sweet, and slightly fashion challenged Hermione is watching the procession of it all, like a dark queen atop a gilded hippogriff throne."

"A hippogriff throne?"

"They're symbolic, you know," Rowling answered matter of factly.

"Interesting. Go on."

"That's the gist of it," she replied, watching his wrinkled hands move down the paper and onto the next page. "Well? Wouldn't you find that troubling?"

Tolkien stopped writing, resting his pen against the paper and leaned back in his chair, removing his pipe yet again. "All my characters were written to have one big gay orgy in Minas Tirith, then proceeded to install a vibration device in the ring upon reaching the fires of Mordor."

"But most of your characters are elves," Rowling pointed out.

"Point taken," Tolkien relented before returning back to his scribbles. Rowling drifted her attention back to the ceiling. Now what is this blasted leather thing called?

30 Days: Day 14 - A non-fiction book.

2010-06-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

I'm going to keep this short and to the point as I think the following speaks for itself.

My favorite non-fiction books are The Zombie Survival Guide and How to Survive a Robot Uprising. It's coming.

30 Days: Day 13 - A fictional book.

2010-06-08T20:20:00.000-07:00

And now a return to blogging!

A book I finished recently (and I mean that in the loosest terms. I haven't really committed myself to leisurely reading since I received my degree in reading good) was Seeing Redd, the second installment in the Looking Glass Wars trilogy that, last I heard, was in the works of becoming a movie. Which would be rather awesome, I think, because there's lots of room for compelling imagery that feeds off of viewer knowledge since the story of Alice is so well known.

Anyway, the book itself isn't necessarily spectacular and is an easy read. It's predictable, but fun nonetheless. I personally enjoyed some of the feminist undertones in a story that was originally largely about a damsel in distress (for example, Wonderland is ruled by a Queendom and the King of the Baorderlands, Arch, is considered a misogynist idiot). However, I recognize that I love retellings and fantasy, and the book nerd in me squeed all over this series as it have several throwbacks to the original series and incarnations, and the modern fantasy nerd of me loved the Westernized version of a magical girl trope normally associated with Japanese cartoons.

Let me just breakdown the basics.

Alyss Heart is Alice reincarnated, the Princess of Wonderland and wielder of White Magic. She's a bit obnoxious and doesn't really become badass until later, but she's not the real reason most of us are reading. I was pleased that she was depicted as a dark brunette/raven haired as that's generally how Alice is never portrayed. I'm assuming this is a deliberate homage to the Queen of Hearts normally illustrated with dark hair since Alyss represented the Hearts Family out of the four family factions.

The main antagonist is Alyss' aunt, Redd, wielder of Black Magic and basically crazy. She is a mixture of the Red Queen and Queen of Hearts, her image coloring being red (including her hair) and is often yelling for beheadings. She dethrones her sister quite early in the first book, taking over Wonderland while Alyss is in hiding in our world.

Other major characters that are easily recognizable include the very badass Hatter Madigan who serves as Alyss' body guard, Bibwit Harte as the white rabbit and tutor, and The Cat based on the Cheshire Cat and Redd's assassin. Card soldiers return as well, and sport fancy physical updates best illustrated through official art rather than descriptions in the book.

Three books of the series are out, I have yet to read the latest titled Arch Enemy, so I'm hoping it doesn't disappoint.

Oops, break.

2010-06-03T20:12:00.000-07:00

So today should be day 13 of continuous blogging, but I'm going out of town this weekend to a shoddy computer. I could rectify this by pre-writing all of my entries and just wrestling with the laptop until they post, but I'm going out tonight to celebrate my new job. I can't stress enough how much I need to celebrate.

I know this blog isn't very widely read at all (but to the person linking me from RedvsBlue, ilu, unless you're saying shitty things about me, then I hope you die in a fire), but for those of you who do periodically tune in to see what new asinine thing I'm spewing from my finger tips, know that I'm not dead yet, I'll be back next week.

In the meantime, here is the latest image I drew my friend after I told her I probably won't be able to be her workchat buddy after this month.

And then her little broken cow heart was repackaged into

Big Macs, bringing much joy to the overweight girls and boys.

Toodles!

30 Days: Day 12 - Your pick!

2010-06-02T13:27:00.000-07:00

Today is another one of those Yay You Pick! days and I'm kind of at a loss of what to write about. Of course, it's really early in the morning when I started writing this and the only things I can think of are completely negative and full of rage, which can be funny, but not something I want to introduce here.

Oh, I know, in the spirit of Conan O'Brein who pleaded with everyone on his last show as the Tonight Show host not to be negative, I'm going to share a YouTube clip of him, Stephen Colbert, and Jon Stewart being completely awesome at one of his performances in New York. So many people have seen this already since it was put up yesterday, and I'm sure those of you here have already seen it, but oh hell, this is my pick day, right?

30 Days: Day 11 - A recent photo of yourself.

2010-06-01T13:44:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm 24 and done battling evil and stuff, I've become an American pop idol, Cali Sparkles.

Let's go to the Super Wal*Mart everybody!

Robin Sparkles and I used to be real tight in the past. Trufax. But then she moved to New York and I went to Seattle and we've fallen out of touch. Such is the way of life.

30 Days: Day 10 - A photo of you taken over ten years ago.

2010-05-31T18:31:00.000-07:00

When I was fourteen I was just your normal middle school girl doing middle school things. I collected bunny memorabilia, ate a lot of food, and never studied. Most of the time, though, I just looked hawt in my sailor uniform while singly badly to children's pop songs.

These are not enough foods to sate my appetite!

Then one day it started raining stuffed cats, which was really freaky, but hey! It was a cute stuffed cat! And it seemed nice, so I gave it a pat and left it on a bridge for the homeless to pick up and carry with them. I needed to do my good deed for the week, okay?

Is this edible?

Well, that was a bad idea because clearly Buddah did not intend for the cat to go to the homeless and shot it through my window later that afternoon. I was pretty high at that point, disappointed by another failing grade, so I think that explains why the cat started speaking to me, giving me jewelry and cosmetics. Clearly I didn't steal these things, oh no.

Pink and sparkles makes it better. Like vampires.

I also found out that using these two items together turned me into the pretty super gaijin, Sailor Moon!

Like, in the name of the, like, Moon, I'll, like, super punish you!

Then I went to fight some bad guys, but got really hungry, so I let the creeper in the tuxedo do all the work for me while I fulfilled my munchie needs.

Mmm...looks good enough to eat...

But then I woke up, food littered around me, crumbs dusting my clothes. Was it all a dream? Was it real? I may never know for sure. But the one thing I do know is that every time I light up, I get to save the world one more time.

30 Days: Day 9 - A picture you took.

2010-05-30T10:55:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned before, I love taking pictures, so this day is going to be a tad difficult. After mulling through my various photo albums for a bit, I finally settled on this image.

Signed The Splendid Magic of Penny Arcade books.

A few months ago Penny Arcade went on a book signing tour across the country, starting in Seattle, of course, in the U District at U Bookstore. I drove over right after work, missing a good portion of their Q&A, but that's okay because I was still in time to wait in line for a while with three very beautiful books.

By the way, if anyone with some power is reading this, I NEED a poster version of the cover, kthnx.

One was for a friend I stilled owed money to from PAX09, and the other for a friend currently stuck in Utah for a few years. Poor dude-- I MEAN. I TOTES BOUGHT THEM BOOKS FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN I'M AWESOME LIKE THAT. BECAUSE I AM AWESOME. Trufax. I don't lie. Only communists lie, and I am not a communist.

30 Days: Day 8 - A photo that makes you angry/sad.

2010-05-29T14:01:00.000-07:00

Uh...I'm not sure I really like this day. I don't think I want to voluntarily go find a picture that makes me angry, but I suppose I will. For the greater good. Something like that.

Young Anakin

Vanessa Hudgens keeping Zac Efron from his True Gay Self.

Seriously, without her, he could go on to be the next big thing in gay. Look! He's already trying! Poor dear.

Harvesting unicorns for food.

>:|

UNICORNS ARE REAL AND ENDANGERED. DO NOT HUNT OUR BEAUTIFUL MAJESTIC FRIENDS FOR THEIR RAINBOWS. But if you do, please send me half of your cut. It's the law.

Batman & Robin

*weep*

30 Days: Day 7 - A photo that makes you happy.

2010-05-28T12:18:00.000-07:00

I love taking pictures. Mostly stupid pictures, but pictures nonetheless. I have many photos that make me happy, so it's hard for me to pin it down to just one...so I thought I'd post a few of my favorites and why. ENJOY.

BABs meet for the first time for a wedding.

Back in the year 2000 I stumbled upon the Bolt.com Anime Board thanks to one of my friends in middle school. People have this negative notion about online relationships and the people that forge them, and you know, I can't fault them for that. There's a very good reason why that notion exists. Fortunately, my negative experience with online friendships is slim, and this group is a living testament to how online relationship can be real, healthy ones. One of us got married last year, and for the first time in our ten year history, we all met up at the same place and the same time to celebrate.

These people are real and true friends. I have loads of friends here and around Washington that I see and speak to on a regular basis, but the BABs are irreplaceable just like any good friend should be.

Han Solo visits the Bier Stube!

And these are some of my Seattle friends (some of them I went to high school with)! We took Han Solo to a bar! It was one of the best nights ever and I actually made prints of all these images because I loved it so much.

Hanson - The Walk Tour 2008 at The Moore

Yeah, that's Hanson. I'm sure some of you are hitting your back button and intend to never come back here again after finding out I'm a Hanson fan. I'm not going to defend myself because that's silly, everyone is allowed to like what they do (though I do encourage you to listen to their latest single if you like retro pop tunes mixed with a big band sound-- they're not who they used to be), but I will say they've been my favorite band since 1996 and 2008 was the first time I ever got to see them in concert. Ever. It's lame that it took me so long and I hope I get to see them at least one more time, especially since their new album sounds fantastic so far.

30 Days: Day 6 - Whatever I want!

2010-05-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

Today I get to write about whatever I want, YAY~ Except not really because I have no idea what I really want to use this one precious entry for. I could do something meaningful, like discuss whether or not video games are art per Ebert's declaration that they're not. I could write about how excited I am for PAX. I could give a bad review to Shrek Forever After, or an awesome review for Obasan, a local Japanese restaurant in lower Queen Anne (seriously, awesome). I could talk about my addiction to spider solitaire, why I hate my job, and the stupid things people say to me while at work.

I'd probably lose my job for that, though, so I'll save that for another time.

What I think I'll do, though, is post a series of MS Paint drawings I had done for my friend during our various conversations over GTalk while at work. For context, she's identified as a cow in our group of friends, and I a bunny. It's a long story that's not funny, so I won't waste your time explaining it here, other than the animals are in no way a representation of physical selves or any other part of our character.

I think it also goes without saying that the pictures directly correlate to whatever we were conversing about at the time, and I've put them in chronological order.

30 Days: Day 5 - Favorite Quote

2010-05-26T13:28:00.000-07:00

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. --Victor Hugo

This pretty much sums up how I feel about relationships. I'd expand on that more, but I have an entire separate blog dedicated to just that, so I feel it would be a little redundant to re-emphasize that here.

In the meantime, here is the best quotable story of dumb straight from my life. Just FYI, I'm Korean and adopted.

Hair Stylist: So how long has your family been here?
Me: ...I'm not sure what you mean, my family isn't from Seattle.
Stylist: How long have they been in Washington?
Me: Oh, my parents were born here.
Stylist: And your grandparents?
Me: They were born here, too.
Stylist: Oh, I'm sorry, they must have been in the internment camps.

Eli: But...one of your grandparents must have been Asian, right?
Me: No.
Eli: But...wait...not to be a dick here, but, are you adopted?
Me: No.
Jeff: Cali, you're such a dick.
Eli: But...but...what?
Jeff: Yes, she's adopted, she's just being a dick.

Blockbuster Coworker: Haha, they're so stupid, there weren't internment camps back then.
Me: ...what.
Coworker: Yeah, we didn't have very many Asians, so why would we have camps?

And some favorites from my friends:

Jeff: So these doctors in Haiti are having to amputee children without any anesthetics.
Kenny: Wouldn't it be more humane to kill the children, then.
Jeff: .........................................................
Kenny and I: Uh...
Jeff: .......................WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
Kenny: For a second there I thought you were seriously considering my joke to be a valid point.

Me: But hey, on the bright side, if she worshiped his cock she could make a life sized replica of his penis for her shrine made out of a baby carrot.
Kenny: You're such a horrible person, Cali.
Me: I'm not the one that said the children in Haiti should just die.
Kenny: It was a joke! I didn't mean it!

Echay: So Asian Zombies wouldn't be able to eat anyone without chopsticks. They would just walk around going, "Bwaaah!" unable to eat anyone.

Rock Band...
Bert: I think I got an 80%, no 92%.
Me: I think you failed.
Bert: No look, 92%! And you were all like, "No, Bert, you fail at life, you suck so much!" And I was telling the truth. And you said it exactly like that.
Me: What did I say again?
Bert: "Bert you fucking suck at life and I hate you!"

Police: So is this your car that was broken in to?
Me: Yeah, on the passenger side.
Police: You might want to roll up your window.

Woman: Crap, I can't count.
Boyfriend: That's okay, you're a woman.
Woman: ...you probably shouldn't say that in front of female employees...
Me: Yeah, some of us have been educated and have our Bachelors.
Boyfriend: Oh yeah? I have a degree from ITT Technical Institute!
Me: ...that's a tech school...
Boyfriend: It's not just a tech school! I'm also certified in cave diving!

Bibi: You know...in the frozen peas and carrots bag...do the peas come from green beans?
Me: ...no...because they're peas...
Bibi: I know, but, do they come from green beans?
Me: If they came from green beans, they wouldn't be peas.
Bibi: Yeah but, do they come from pea pods or green beans?
Me: ...pea pods. Because they're peas.
Bibi: Oh, right!

Bibi: Apples come after the blossoms, right?

30 Days: Day 4 - Favorite Book

2010-05-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

As I told my friend today over Gtalk, today I will not be a child! Sure, I could sit here and blab about Harry Potter, which is one of my favorite book series, but I would mostly be mocking it...which you may or may not find interesting considering that everyone knows about Harry Potter.

Anyway, I'll be brief and say it's Memoirs of a Geisha. Memoirs has it's own set of Very Unique Problems, one of them spurring the misconception of what a mizuage actually is and that legal battle that occurred after the author outed his retire geisha source, who then fell under much scrutiny from her peers as geisha life is one of secrecy. This makes sense as the entire art of geisha is to entertain and appeal (for example, Inara's profession of a Companion in Firefly is based off of geisha). These girls work behind painted faces and beautifully crafted robes with the only intent to serve their patron, not express themselves and their individuality.

You know how they say part of what makes a woman desirable is because of her mystery? How your boyfriend and husbands don't want to know that their girlfriends and wives poop? That's the life of geisha in a nut shell.

Aside from mizuage, the book is reported to follow geisha life somewhat accurately, and Sayuri's narrative is vivid in description and writing devices. She speaks in similes and metaphors, and you can tell that her character embodies the idea of an entertainer, even in her fictitious memoirs.

And yes, Sayuri is fictitious, even though much of her life is based on real life events and career choices of actual geisha.

The book spans Sayuri's early childhood, when she was known as Chiyo, and spends a great portion of the book describing her years when she first became a geisha, right before Japan was attacked by Allied Forces in WWII. A small bit of the book describes her life immediately afterwards before doing a quick recap of her life from that point until present. I would classify this as a book for those interested in romance and historical fiction as romance plays a key role in the plot. This is also a novel about female gender roles, a women's world, which can make it less appealing to those who do not find that subject matter particularly intriguing.

The book never directly deals with misogyny, classism, racism, and other big issues that were obviously abundant during this time which is often criticized. However, in historical context and the narrative, it would be highly inappropriate for Sayuri to ever outright address those issues, and I feel her passing commentary on the issues themselves is telling enough on how she feels about being a geisha and the life of women in 1930's Japan. Of course, critics point out that the book is written by a man, which is a valid point, take that as you will.

The book was also made into a movie, which was splendid eye candy and had its own host of controversies, but did not do the story justice. Figures.

30 Days: Day 3 - Favorite Show

2010-05-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

I realize that I'm going to sound like a child if I keep being completely honest with my favorite faves. Oh well, at least I'm honest. I can't be faulted for that, right?

Another bit of honesty, I don't watch a lot of TV. Well, not anymore. This is mostly due to not having cable, but after I grew out of waking up early on Saturday morning for cartoons, I never felt the need to watch Must See TV. I watch my shows when I want to, dammit, not when TV Guide says. This is why streaming has become a blessing for me because as much as I love How I Met Your Mother, if I want to go out on a Monday night, I refuse to feel torn between watching Barney be awesome and potentially having my own HIMYM night out in Seattle. I prefer living over watching someone else live out their life.

Anyway, so yes, How I Met Your Mother is one of my favorite TV shows. So is Firefly. And Everwood. And The Powerpuff Girls, She-RA, and the Care Bears will always have a special place in my heart and on my shelf. However, my absolute favorite show, one that I willing watch any time it's on, is Boy Meets World.

Remember when I said I'm going to sound like a child? Right.

So it's continuity is shot, it's frequently over the top and unrealistic, and by the end of the series the show has jumped the shark and the characters have become caricatures of themselves. And yet every single episode is hilarious, every episode has some bit of truth that resonated with me growing up and still resonates with me now when I take trips down memory lane. Most importantly, it has MR. FEENY.

Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from George Feeny. I even own the t-shirt.

There isn't much more I can say in order to describe why I irrationally love this show so much. Why the finale made me cry long after it ended. So here's a clip of some of the funnier moments of the seven seasons the show aired. ENJOY.

30 Days: Day 2 - Favorite Movie

2010-05-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

My favorite movie, without a doubt, is The Lion King. Sure, I love Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Spaceballs, Howl's Moving Castle, and Sherk. I absolutely adore Jurassic Park. And I'm sure sometime in the future I will find another movie that has charmed me as much as WALL-E in order to add to my very short list of favorites out the 1000+ movies I've seen, but The Lion King will always be at the top.

And then God showered light down from the heavens

and consumed all of Africa by Summoning Bigger Lion.

In the sixth month of 1994, Disney released it's 32nd animated feature, and Mufasa said, "This was good." Four years later Disney made a sequel, and Mufasa said, "Oh ell no." But that's less important because we're talking about THE LION KING. They used the opening musical number for their trailer, and people all around the world were peeing their pants because those few minutes were enough to show how awesome this movie was going to be. Forget explaining the plot, advertising Big Name Actors and a Big Name Musician, or combining all the good bits in one spoiler package-- the trailer didn't need that. The art, the music, and how these elements combined was enough to captivate and enthuse my wee little self sixteen years ago.

For those of you who somehow don't know about The Lion King despite it's fame, let me break it down for you. Darth Mufasa promises his entire kingdom of the African Savanna to his son, Simba. Or Kimba. Or Jimba TT if I'm going to go with the bad naming joke. Anyway, Darth M's brother is annoyed and kills him and convinces JTT that it's his fault, so JTT runs away and everyone thinks he's dead. So brother takes over and kills everything. Meanwhile, JTT has become a Man and befriended his dinner, a pig and a weasel cat. Eventually a hot lioness and monkey persuade JTT to return, he defeats his uncle, and then casts curaja with a might roar. It's Disney's version of Hamlet, to put it simply, but without Simba becoming crazypants like his father's younger Star Wars self and murdering everyone.

Most people criticize how closely it resembles Kimba the White Lion, a crappy Janime from 1960, and by closely resembles is that Kimba leaves his home and then returns later to save it. And his name is like "Simba." Oh yeah, totally the same story...if you completely ignore the fact that it involves human interference, environmentalism, and that sort of thing. But I'm talking about the finish product, pre-production of The Lion King was a bit different.

But The Lion King is basically everything I want from a movie, and the fact that it's animated proves the absolute power this film possess. Mufasa's death sparked some controversy, and I attribute that more to the ability the film had to connect to the audience on an emotional level. Manipulative? Perhaps, but that was the intent, the entire purpose of that scene, and we all fell into it without question because we were all so engrossed by this story of animated lions that we forgot they were lions. We forgot they were animated. We forgot it wasn't real, and yet we felt something very real.

Ignoring the sequels, this was properly followed up by the Big Damn Musical on Broadway that I was fortunate enough to see when they did their tour through Seattle last year. The movie is completely deserving, and the musical also deserving of the praise it has received thus far. I highly encourage everyone to see this!

30 Days: Day 1 - Favorite Song

2010-05-22T17:33:00.000-07:00

The 30 days meme has been circling around for years, though I've never done it before. As I tend to not blog very frequently, I thought this would be a good way to get me into the habit. So day one is, as you can see, favorite song.

Well, that's difficult. I have a whole playlist dedicated to my absolute favorite songs, and it's always growing. I suppose I'll always have a soft spot for the following:

Sometimes I'm Rick Rolled at work as my coworkers like to fight over the radio and, at some point, end up on the 80's station. I usually end up dancing at my desk without realizing it. Though, last week I was kind of Rick Rolled, only not really. It took me a while to figure out it was this song:

The actual music video doesn't allow embedding, but it's worth watching. Anyway, I think I might like this song better. I downloaded the entire album for the hell of it and periodically play it when I have people in the car. Cue awesome.

Okay, let's try this again with a little honestly. Bellow is a list of my current favorite songs and the appropriate YouTube video to go with them. I promise that none of them are Rick Astley. Well, I tried not to, anyway. I'll also warn you that I like crappy music.

Blue Train - Asian Kung Fu Generation
Clone - Last Alliance (ignore the crappy video game images in the video)
Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
Let It Rain - Ok Go
Thinking 'Bout Somethin' - Hanson
About A Girl - The Academy Is...

Nom Nom - Rotini pasta with cream sauce and fresh spinach.

2010-05-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

I like to cook and bake, and fortunately I'm not half bad at it. I've given up on being hush-hush about it since everyone who knows me found out about this within the last year, so now I'm a slave to the guys and girls in my life whose only accomplishment in the kitchen is starting a fire. In the mean time I thought I'd try to turn this into a benefit for the rest of you out there in internet land, especially you nerds out to impress your girlfriends (or maybe boyfriends).

When I cook, I typically like it to be fast a simple since I normally get home at 7:30pm from work and am just generally lazy. For the most part the dishes I share will be of that variety, but we're not talking Top Ramen fast and simple, k? Also, most importantly when it comes to cooking, once you learn a recipe, don't be afraid to improvise with it!

Rainbow Rotini with a Cream Sauce and Fresh Spinach

How I made it:

1. While boiling the water for the rotini (remember to add oil to the water so the pasta won't stick together while cooking), I started my sauce using half a quart of half and half. However, this was to match how much pasta I was making. If you're making a single serving, you'll need less half and half (unless you like a lot of sauce). If you're making very generous man portions, you may need the entire quart.

2. If you have fresh garlic, this is the time to start sautéing it in a frying pan on a low setting. It should be a slightly golden color when done. I suggest sautéing in butter since you're making a cream sauce. If you want to add any kind of meat (it should be cut up into small pieces if not using ground beef), cook it with the sautéing garlic. If you don't have fresh garlic or meat to add, skip this step.

3. Add the half and half to the sauce pan on a medium to low setting. What you want is for the liquid to reduce. What you're looking for is very noticeable evaporation (steam) and some frothing of the liquid, and you'll want this to happen for some time for a thicker cream. You'll want to continuously stir the cream so it doesn't burn on the bottom of the pan. However, leaving it unattended while adding pasta to boiling water, stirring the pasta every so often, etc is okay.

4. When you feel the half and half is reduced enough for you (keep in mind that regardless of how much you've reduced it, it will still be liquidy), add in your spices. I added garlic powder, basil, and pepper. You can virtually add just about anything you want, just stop to think if you actually want to taste random spice x that night before adding it in.

5. Add in as much Parmesan cheese as you want. I do not recommend store brand or Kraft as those cheeses have a hard time breaking down and melting into the cream sauce. The cheese is basically a thickening agent, so add it in and stir until you have a thick sauce consistency. If you like extra cheesy pasta, add in additional cheese after on your own plate or bowl.

6. At this point the pasta should be done and most likely was already drained and ready to go before the cheese had finished thickening the cream sauce. I ripped up baby spinach and added it to the pot of drained pasta. The heat of the pasta and the eventual cream sauce you will pour over the entire thing will help wilt the spinach so it's more consumable. You could feasibility use a different vegetable here, but keep in mind using asparagus, broccoli, etc will necessitate cooking the vegetables separately before adding them in.

An easier way to make this dish is to use pre-made Alfredo sauce (the cream sauce described above is a modified version of my mom's Alfredo sauce), though do not hesitate to add additional spices to that as well. You are also not limited to rotini, though I recommend using one that is bite sized and thick, like penne or bow ties.

That's Shady! - A brief look at finding employment on Craigslist.

2010-04-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

It's kind of a given that postings on Craigslist have a chance of being super sketch, even though the jobs section is frequented by many big name companies. The best listings are ones that actually name their company, or at least what their company does. Unfortunately these types of listings are few as employers tend to give the bare minimum knowing full well that us hungry job seekers will apply for anything that sounds marginally plausible. This has led me to my recent email conversation with such an employer, one that I have completely written off as TRAP!

1. Lack of concrete information in posting. Like I mentioned previously, this particular listing presented what they were looking for and benefits, nothing else. This normally isn't a problem with me because I typically ask for more information about the company once they decide to contact me. Unfortunately whoever was behind this email address was being rather tight lipped about the entire affair.

2. Email address. Which leads me to the email address itself. It's nice when companies provide emails to their HR division, but also completely understandable when they opt for Craigslist address instead. However, what's odd is when I company chooses AOL for emailing purposes. Even better when a quick Google search reveals the same address is used to post listings for positions in Colorado. This really can't be that big of a company if they're using AOL, so what's going on with Colorado?

3. Interviews through Yahoo messenger. Oh yeah, you read that right. They decided that due to the high volume of applications they would be conducting interviews through Yahoo messenger since phone calls take too long. You know, I feel phone interviews are about as impersonal as you can get, but at least you can get a sense of presence and tone through articulation...which is nearly void in electronic communication. Plus, Yahoo messenger? Really?

4. Dictation of interview date. In all interviews I have partaken in, normally the company gives you a time frame in which you can set up an interview with them as not to conflict with your schedule. Instead, I was instructed that I would be interviewed at this date, between these times, and not to contact them any sooner than that.

5. Incomprehensible emails. I imagine interviews through Yahoo messenger will be difficult for them as I found it hard to understand exactly what they were trying to tell me with each progressive email that sequentially dropped important components of communication. Like complete sentences, punctuation, spell checking, and specific grammatical conventions like how to write out time. Eventually this all accumulated in a final email from them, one I'm not even sure how to respond to, or if I should even bother. After I asked if it would be possible to reschedule since the date they had dictated did not work for me at all, I was emailed back with one word: booked. But without the period since this person had lost all comprehension of punctuation a few emails back.

Does that mean they're booked this week and I should ask for a different date? That they've already filled the position? Maybe something was Shepard Book-ed? I'm curious to find out, but I have a feeling the next email I receive from them will contain all of the missing grammar from their previous emails.

The FINAL Fantasy...the fourth version. Part 1

2010-04-03T04:37:00.000-07:00

Final Fantasy IV is actually my favorite from the franchise to date despite all of its absolute absurdness. I never had the pleasure of playing the original US release, so perhaps I don't have a firm grasp on just how absurd it can be (though I can't say I'm disappointed by that), but I thoroughly enjoyed my fan translated ROM. When the remake hit the DS, I had to buy it and about twenty minutes in I went "ARG" at Cecil and Kain dying unceremoniously and the last twenty minutes lost to lack of saving.

Yeah, I know, it's Final Fantasy, I should know better than to not save every five minutes blahblahblah.

That was months ago, just recently I've gotten over irritation enough to start again. I'm just about to go rescue Rosa until I got thwarted by the Tower of Zot, so I thought now would be as good as time as any to write about the remake thus far and what I love about the forth installment in general.

1. Cecil: Oh man, is he not the posterchild for emo or what? Brood brood brood, I'm a Dark Knight and I hate my life, brood. Oh noes, I killed people because I'm a Dark Knight, brood. People always talk about Cloud being pathetically emo, it's evident they've never played IV (or perhaps Cecil is that forgettable?). I mean, yeah, it sucks to have a conscious when you're a Dark Knight, but it's ridiculous to spurn your very beautiful girlfriend when all she wants is to give you a little lovin'. I especially like how he seems so put out by the idea of sexing her, and then flips out at the idea of losing her sexing to Kain. Maybe if you had been a bit more conceding to foreplay this wouldn't have happened, Cecil.

Anyway, at least he looks fairly cool as a Dark Knight. Check out his 16-Bit dark glory, and he doesn't look to shabby in the redesign that, I think, looks fairly similar to the original concept art.

Of course, then Cecil gets to be a cracked out Paladin. Seriously, it's like an advertisement promoting opium to all the little children of Japan and America. The original concept art kept me up at night, it looked more demonic like than the Dark Knight. Like an albino creeper.

Because it makes sooo much sense to give a paladin a giant tiara. That goes real well with striking divine authority into those nasty evildoers. When I'm talking about opium outbreaks, I'm referring to how they tried to put every single color onto Cecil's little 16-bit sprite. LOOK AT IT.

I suppose the remake is better despite him having blue lips and being obscenely pale, meaning he's dead. That's right, when you turn to the side of righteousness, God kills you and turns you into a zombie-- hey now, I think I might have to go become a paladin...

2. Prince Edward: So I just spent the last several paragraphs giving Cecil shit even though I'm supposedly writing about what I love about this installment. Well, the truth is, I love it because it's so ridiculous. Prince Edward is easily my favorite character (okay, I lied, it's actually Rydia, but he's a close second!) simply because he's so stupid that he can't be for real, and it can be summed up in one word: Hide.

The Hide command had me initially ROFLing until Rydia was KOed from him not wanting to break a nail. :| But still, a grown man, a Prince, hiding behind a little girl? That's priceless. (Though I've noticed in the remake his Hide ability isn't on auto, so I never had a chance to see it in action.) And he's a bard so naturally he plays a harp. Not a lute, or a flute, or a mini guitar. A harp. That must be so convenient to carry around. I wish they would have gone all out and gave him guitarrón mexicano, you know, that giant guitar that's used in Mariachi music. He might have been able to do more than 10 damage with that.

Though I am a big fan of Edward's music spells. I abuse them regularly during play. And, you know, if it weren't for Edward, Cecil would be the most pansy ass in the game, so it turns out Edward does do something right. But still.

BRB Loling forever.

3. Tellah: Actually, I hate Tellah. I hate every time I have to use him. Why? Because he's a relentlessly stubborn old man dead set on getting himself and everyone else killed because his senility has caused him to forget all of his good spells until Cecil's free-flowing blonde hair inspires him to remember the rest AND for some God-willing reason his MP caps out at 90. Even though he's supposed to be this suuuper amazing sage. What super amazing sage caps out at 90?

To top it off, every time he gains a level, there's a good chance his stats will regress. WTF. He blames himself for the death of his daughter and Palom and Porom for sacrificing their lives, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's his fault for Golbez's existence, thereby making everything bad in the game his fault. Cecil murdered Rydia's mother? It's because Golbez influenced the King of Baron whom gave Cecil those orders making it all your fault, Tellah. How do you like that?

4. Kain's Voice: Easily the best thing about the remake, Kain's voice is sex. Guys, if you ever wanted to know what sex sounds like to a girl, now you do.

5. Dark Elf Cave: One of the other things I hate in this game is the damn cave that doesn't let you equip any metal items putting your party at a severe disadvantage since only three out of the four party members can be placed in the back row. Sure, Cecil still has the highest defense out of all of them...by one point. You can imagine that this one point does barely anything to soften the many blows while he mans the front row like a chump.

Worst still is that the monsters in the cave are either ridiculously spelled out (like, can cause paralysis in one hit or just sap your party to death) or super beefy in both defense and strength. And since Tellah has that flippin' 90MP cap, you can imagine how much time I spent cursing while trying to heal everyone with Cecil and Tellah wagging his stick at things so I wouldn't have to eat ethers like candy.

6. Whyt: Exclusive to the DS version is a summon-like spirit named Whyt that accompanies Rydia. You use Fat Choboco like a living Mario Party in order to interact with Whyt and make it better ingame. This includes giving it silly faces, like a giant blue arrow on its forehead. In order to train Whyt so it can earn stat points are a variety of mini games that use the touch screen. Some of these mini games are stupid fun (like savagely tapping any goblin that comes across the screen) and some just make you feel stupid (making a set of four numbers equal ten and seeing how many sets you can answer in a minute).

I like the concept of Whyt and spend most of my time making it purdy when I tire of farming.

More to come after I progress a bit further in the game, mainly so I can babble about how awesome Rydia is when she grows up and how well the remake translates this.

The reunion that came five years early.

2009-12-28T18:21:00.000-08:00

This past summer my friend that I regularly went out to happy hour with moved to a different state for grad school. Seeing as how we both went to the same high school, naturally we were both in our hometown for Christmas and decided to pick up where we left off by going out for drinks, food, and desert.

We chose a restaurant that, in hindsight, perhaps we shouldn't have. That restaurant that's staffed by all those people you went to high school with that either never left or couldn't make it. We thought it would be funny to see who waited on us since we're mature like that. It turns out we didn't know any of the wait staff, which was fine, and we went back to our drinks and ridiculous conversations. That is, until some of our classmates came walking through the door.

Don't ask me why it's okay to have a classmate for a waiter, but not to simply run into one in a random happenstance. For my own morality I'm going to pretend the explanation is not as cruel as it actually is and say it's because one familiar face is different than a dozen where conversation is forced and trite. At least at a restaurant you have to acknowledge each other with a preset conversation and sometimes the catch up is fun. Outside of that it's uncomfortable politeness where all body language shows is how many ways can I escape from this building?

It took me a while to recognize who they were, and initially wrote them off in favor of my food consumption as I hadn't spoken to either classmates since middle school. I didn't even bother telling my friend that some of our classmates had walked through the door, it was that inconsequential. However, they didn't write me off, as one of them immediately jumped over to our table, pointed both fingers at me in that "HEY THAR" kind of way, and announced their presence by stating my full name. Then turned to my friend and uttered, "And...I don't remember your name..." Smooth.

After confirming our identities and briefly catching up, our classmate noted that several more of our classmates would be pouring through the restaurant doors any minute. I inwardly groaned, and sure enough, my friend and I felt like ducking as our classmates came in droves, refusing to consolidate in one central location, and instead ran back and forth around the restaurant leaving us in the eye of an unwanted yesteryear storm.

I don't begrudge my classmates, even if it did mostly consist of those douchey popular guys that were fortunate to graduate at all; it's been five years since I graduated. It's not that they ever did anything to me. I was certainly unpopular because I didn't care for the popular kids. I did my thing, they did theirs, we didn't cross the streams, and I went through high school as contently as a moody teenager could. But the last thing I wanted to do is chitchat like we were the best of friends and had these great memories of passing each other in the hallways, not mumbling a single word and refusing to make any eye contact at all. I'm feeling a bit wistful just thinking about it.

I do understand that I'm Asian, despite being wholly American, and I'm going to chalk it up to being the token Asian kid in a predominantly white school that allows them to just not forget me like I wish they would. I used to think my high school reunion would be fun. Sitting off to the side with my close friends, drinking as much as we could, discussing our various classmates buzzing around us, certain that they would never notice us. But after this last weekend, I'm certain my life as a undercover agent would be rather fruitless.

All the cool kids are doing it.

2009-11-15T00:09:00.000-08:00

My Saturday started out like any normal 23 year old post-grad working a shiny new full time position-- I woke up at 9:30am without an alarm and cursed myself for an hour, at which point I pulled myself out of bed as I had ran out of validations to keep myself in said bed.

It didn't quite dawn on me until a bowl of pho and the entire fourth season of How I Met Your Mother with a few good friends later that my young adult life has snuck up on me, strangling and replacing my college kid life.

Sure, it still has certain semblances of my old life that I put away roughly five months ago. There was the cheap and easy Asian soup of choice, an impromptu drive to Best Buy and purchasing of FFIV (my friends dubbed this a kidnapping with promises of orange Tic Tacs that I never gave them), a trip to sketch Safeway for beer, and an entire season of a favorite show to power through.

Normally this would conclude in a certain amount of college brand alcoholism stretching into the wee hours of the morning. Instead, only one of us attempted said alcoholism while the rest of us exited early, and all of us are ending our very early nights with some sort of gamage.

At some point in the night I mused over our situation. Even more so when it was pointed out it wasn't even 5pm and I speaking as if our Saturday night was over. It seems that life changes so quickly, even though I saw this coming years ago, we all did in the very few fleeting times we tried to imagine adulthood.

It feels like the end of my youth, which is silly because I still have years, and yet I still wonder if it truly isn't too far off to calling it a night at 9pm. How I Met Your Mother is a show about 30somethings rocking a lifestyle many of my friends and I are growing out of. Is that sad or is that life?

His name was Naked Lego Man

2009-11-01T15:29:00.001-08:00

I've come to learn that I'm fairly awesome at not blogging. But, putting that aside: Halloween. I don't have much to share, mainly because mine wasn't super exciting, nor do I fully feel like disclosing much more as that would be more personal that I've decided this blog is allowed, but I will share that, yes, there was a guy roaming around the U District in a yellow box.

He looked more like a robot than anything, though he was supposed to be a naked Lego Man. He was often stopped for pictures and at one point he and I boogied our way around Dante's dance floor.

So, yes, he's real. He really does exist. The large amounts of pictures of him on Facebook do not lie.

I have to say, though, Tampax Box Girl and Quail Man Dude, you totally made my night.

As for me? I attached large rabbit ears on a white hoodie and crocheted a string of carrots to wear around my neck. Not the most awesome costume, but damn comfortable, and by the end of the night, while hopping around dismantled Naked Lego Man, that's all that really matters.

Wow, I'm a big kid now.

2009-10-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

This last week I've been learning what a Big Kid Job entails: long hours behind a desk pretending to be busy. For my position I'd say that's understandable as my work flow is dependent on the work of others-- I can't do much unless the work is delegated to me from a higher up. That's not to say I don't have any work at all, I'm currently in the middle of writing up documents and manuals from the ground up as one wasn't available to me when I first started (and, by the way, I've never worked for a company like this before, so my manual will be interesting).

In the meantime, I'm snacking on an endless supply of Dum Dums (Banana Split does not taste like a banana split) and toffee covered peanuts while surfing Google News...and maybe some other sites like this one that I shouldn't be looking at right now, but too late. ANYWAY, during my Google news exploits there's the general terrorist alerts, Jon and Kate doing some more stupid stuff, arsonist in the U District, and...oh yeah...Miley Cyrus deleted her Twitter.

...WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

...WHY IS THIS EVEN NEWS?!

I suppose it's hypocritical for me to be blogging about being annoyed that anyone gives a shit about Miley Cyrus and her Twitter since it's giving attention to something not worth attention, but humor me here, why do we care?

In the meantime, I'm going to go back to my toffee peanuts, read Wikipedia, and pretend to be working on a training manual for a position I don't quite know how to run yet.

College life never leaves.

2009-09-27T01:19:00.000-07:00

I suppose I should realize and accept the fact that it's hard to turn away from an undergrad lifestyle while still living in the U District. Regardless of only graduating in '09, I've found that I dislike noisy, crowded bars and much prefer the quieter ones where you can actually sit without knocking over someone else's drink. Most of my friends prefer this type of atmosphere nine times out of ten, so none of us were quite sure why we opted to go to Finn's on Thursday night, other than out of fours years of habit (well, for me, two).

Don't misunderstand, my friends and I still have a special place for Dante's as that's our college bar of choice. But more often than not we go to Rat and Raven, a newish English pub that took the place of the Irish Immigrant bastardization.

After about twenty minutes of screaming and being pushed along with the crowd (though I couldn't help but join in on Journey, it is Journey, after all), we opted to go to Rat and Raven to sit and tell some good stories.

Inevitably the undergrad life wasn't quite ready to let us free as at the end of the night there was a near bar brawl in our group, to put it simply. It's one of my favorite stories now, not only because of the sheer absurdity, but also because we escaped from Finn's for a more low key place and ended up with a guy lunging across a table at us-- something I've never witnessed during my undergrad bar hopping.

So does undergrad life ever end in the U District? I'm starting to think it doesn't, and maybe it's futile to resist. Or maybe I should just accept the fact that I'm 23 and not actually old enough to outgrow a young adult life style.

Oh yeah, that Recession thing...

2009-09-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well, if it isn't Swine Flu keeping me from blogging, it's looking for work.

See, I used to have two jobs. Two shitty jobs, but two jobs nonetheless. Between the two of them I was able to work roughly full time. And then I got laid off at one of them without any notice at all. In fact, the only reason I found out is because I inquired about where the hell my schedule was.

So I've joined many Seattlelites, Americans, and people worldwide on a desperate search for employment. It's not that I haven't been looking these past few months, I have, but there's nothing like rapidly dropping to 10 hours a week to fuel the fire under my ass.

In fact, so well fired that I'm about two hours away from an interview that I was contacted about four hours post application sending frenzy.

In the meantime, I've picked up various shifts from other locations in the company chain. Unfortunately, my eagerness for monies has also influenced me to take graveyard shifts.

Why yes, I just returned from graveyard. Fancy that. I've got my energy drink, a substance completely foreign to me without a shot of Jager, ready to go.

This begs the question, how far are we willing to go in order to make ends meet? Should we ever have to go this far? I've been awake since roughly 2pm Wednesday because, you know what? Life doesn't stop for you just because you have to work graveyard. Your body also doesn't like to cooperate want and need of sleep, either. But most of all, how desperate is it to take any shift available and immediately layer them with interviews?

I'm not even sure if I should go to bed upon return from said interview for fear that it will take a severe toll on my sleep schedule, but my body is screaming at me to close my eyes, and my pillow is taunting me like something obnoxious and delightfully comfortable. Woe.

The Rabbit at PAX: That unexpected gift that keeps giving.

2009-09-17T01:26:00.000-07:00

I had originally intended to do a PAX update every few days before moving on to other subjects I wanted to write about in my blog. Unfortunately I also fell to PAX Pox, though in much less severity as others who also attended (still, this did not stop Hall Health from being somewhat exasperated by the number of frantic phone calls they were receiving). Still, I took a four day weekend to suffer in congestion and wheezing, and only Tuesday did I dive back into working with the full vigor of a nerd needing a ramen fix (or in my case, a paycheck).

At this point it almost seems moot to discuss some of the games I had a chance of playing, especially since the two big ones, Muramasa and Beatles Rock Band, have already hit the shelves (in fact, I picked up my copy of Muramasa today). Humor me if I do, though, as I'm sure I'm not the only gamer that spends some time after the release date contemplating my next gaming expenditure.

In the meantime, I wholly recommend Muramasa. It is gorgeous and the first "real" video game I've been able to persuade my roommate to play AND have her enjoy (she's a big fan of Mario Kart, though there's a reason why the Bullet Bill item is a favorite of her's). I did put her on easy mode, but I think it is a testament to Muramasa's enjoyability and playability that she, despite her usual inability in gaming, thoroughly enjoyed herself. There's several ways to play Muramasa, and in her case she chose button mashing. It isn't the most efficient way to play, but I feel that having fun is more important than skill.

In truth, I love button mashing games, which is partially why I find Muramasa so appealing (normally I steer clear of action adventure). This is also why I loved Hulk Ultimate Destruction (it was one of the few games I routinely devastated my then boyfriend at the time since score was based more on destruction than objective).

Also, if you didn't know, Wii Ware has released a new version of Mr. Driller for 800 points. Despite being well above my eyes in games, I'm this damn close to buying it as Mr. Driller is so incredibly addicting. I'd like to see anyone not waste at least an hour of their life after giving that game a go.

The Rabbit at PAX: 2009 Panels

2009-09-11T23:20:00.001-07:00

Admittedly I didn't attend very many panels, mostly because I was more interested in the exhibition hall and free play areas. There were a few panels I wanted to attend but didn't have the time to, and to be very honest, most of the panels covered subjects I simply wasn't interested in-- which is fine. I think nearly all the panels deserved to be at PAX, so it was simply a matter of personal appeal.

That said, here are the few panels I did attend (game previews are coming up next!)...

FRIDAY

Mega64
Most of you have probably heard of Mega64, a number of short videos a group of guys uploaded onto YouTube and have since then grown in popularity (Paper Boy is my favorite). What I enjoyed most about this panel was it seemed more like a giant nerd conversation involving microphones. I learned way too much about all the guys' penises and there were more tangents than actual answers to the Q&A, but I think that's partially what a panel like this should be.

I also learned that Rocko's Final Smash would be a piece of cheese because Shawn is lactose intolerant. It's things like that I remember best from the panel. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing, so I'll let you decide.

SATURDAY

Penny Arcade Makes a Strip
This was a lot of fun, Scott stood in for Tycho/Jerry until he could make it back from the hospital. Meanwhile, fun technical problems kept Gabe/Mike from drawing too much, so most of the panel was Q&A for a good while. Right about when Gabe finally got things rolling, Tycho showed up and stole of all his thunder.

It was especially great for me to finally see and hear the two in person, their banter is great, even better when paired with thousands of nerds. The penis talked continued, and also dribbled into cumsquates. I've never listened to talk of teabagging for so damn long.

As for the comic itself, at one point Gabe drew Tycho as a three eyed alien (you can see the beginnings of it in my photo post) and a hot dog fairy. I believe there's some kind of inside joke that has to do with said fairy that I've never heard of, but regardless it was fun to watch Gabe draw a fabulous bunned sausage.

Star Wars Old Republic MMO
I am so damn tired of the trailer for this game, I'm not even kidding. Even so, the panel itself was okay and interesting enough. I'm probably going to play it when it comes out, and I'm not an paying MMO player (but it looks so close to KOTOR that I don't think I'll be able to resist!). I think what really shined was the two spokes persons, they were charismatic and funny. Perhaps their presentation was a tad scripted, but it was clear they knew who their crowd was.

And by this I mean that they nerded out the entire time. Once of them even professed his love for pixel women in so many words. I appreciate corporations sending in the right people for the right places in order to promote their material.

So what was the extra special stuff that came with the panel? Knowing that Courscant is a playable area.

Oh, and we were all given free downloads of KOTOR from Steam.

Sex in Video Games
I think my post bellow says everything I've ever wanted to say about this panel ever again.

SUNDAY

Localization and Translation
This was a great panel headed by two guys who localized several FF titles, most notably FFXII as most of their great examples were taken from that game. It was very informative on how the localization process is and what exactly they do. I believe gamers often take for granted that localization is more than just translating, and that we don't appreciate why liberties are made with the original text.

Granted, some liberties are ridiculous, and the panelists were very upfront about that. But the work they did in XII is phenomenal. I'm most impressed with the attention to detail and work they put into choosing certain voice types (British for the Empire, American for Dalmasca, Fran with a Scandinavian accent to make her seem other worldly). What impressed me the most is that they actually rewrote script into iambic pentameter. FUCKING IAMBIC PENTAMETER. That's dedication to quality. For anyone who has ever had to work with iambic pentameter, you know exactly what I mean.

Then panelists were also humorous, but I also appreciate how professional they seemed. I liked that they were friendly but also gave the feeling of respect towards those who took the time to sit at their panel. It wasn't fancy, but it was clear, to the point, and provided information in a compelling way. I sincerely hope they return next year.

Wil Wheaton Awesome Hour
I was one of the very lucky hundred to see Wil Wheaton. His lineup started in the queue room hours before his panel was to begin, and I can see why. He's hilarious and fully deserving of the main hall or a bigger room (PAX, are you listening?). All of us were crammed into Serpent Theater (and that is not a small room, by the way. I'm going to say max capacity 200) to cheer and snort at his life adventures (and some people gave him bananas? Whut?). Very personable and gracious, I'd gladly wait over an hour just to see his panel again.

The Rabbit at PAX: Sex in Video Games (or "Japan Rocks, America Sucks")

2009-09-09T14:07:00.000-07:00

What to say about this panel that hasn't already been said? Enough people have already complained about it that Pink Godzilla will not be allowed back as panelists for the discussion, and not to be Why So Serious here, but I think it's important as, not only a gamer, but also as a woman to discuss why this panel just sucked. Hard. To the point that I don't intend to shop at Pink Godzilla ever again.

So let's just start from the beginning.

If you've seen my video post, the American Hard Gay clip was actually from this panel. In all fairness, I think they had the right idea at the beginning, it was fun, though perhaps taken a bit too far. Two people demonstrated well known "sexual" scenes in video game history and American Hard Gay ran around with a microphone in the audience so they could guess and win prizes. This was all fine and dandy except that it dragged on too long, mostly because American HG felt it necessary to actually weave into the aisles in order to pelvic thrust against audience members.

Okay, fine, that's exactly what Hard Gay does. But at a certain point it ceases to be funny and just becomes vulgar and unnecessary. We we're in line for at least a half an hour, some people up to an hour, to discuss sex in video games, not watch a guy in cheap leather rub up against people. The panelists did warn that the panel was going to be adult in nature and could be offensive, but I highly doubt any of us ever thought there would be physical sexual affronts or extremely explicit videos.

Which brings me to the next part, the actual panel itself. I think this part also started out well enough. A brief history on sex in Western video games was presented. It was informative and funny, and I could see it easily tying in to the main topic at hand. It wasn't until a presentation on sex in Japan was given that the panel took a severe turn for the worst.

Firstly, there was an at least fifteen minute BBC video discussing sex in Japanese culture. That's great, but a brief overview with specific video game examples that could be compared and contrasted to the previous discussion would have been preferable. Especially since the video displayed a Japanese man receiving a handjob. Naked women in bondage. Neither of these instances were warned or do I find appropriate to be shown in the context of a discussion about sex and VIDEO GAMES.

After the video, Pink Godzilla went on to claim that Japanese society and their attitude towards sex is vastly superior to America because we allow censorship in mass media.

...

Right, because censorship only happens in America. It's not like the cartoon Ouran High School Host Club that showed only slightly mature themes wasn't aired in after hours. Or the several cartoons (Kodomo no Jikan, for example) that need mosaics or various other edits in order to be shown during the day. Heaven forbid that here in America we don't allow dicks and boobies to be thrown up on billboards-- oh wait, Japan doesn't allow that, either.

I understand we're a more prudish country, however, I believe we're much more liberal in our sexuality being public than the Japanese are in the sense that they acknowledge it and yet don't at the same time. What I mean by this is that genres like Moe are obviously produced in order to make profit from the consumer, the companies recognize consumer fetishes and capitalize on them. HOWEVER, it's not necessarily acceptable for a person to openly talk about such things. I agree that sex is very much private in Japan, but I don't agree that it's necessarily healthy. I think one of the reasons why America is so militant on censorship is partially because discussing such things have become part of the norm.

Actually, I think Pink Godzilla is grossly ill informed on Japanese culture, or at least is unable to accurately provide information to others concerning the culture. I don't care that one of them studied Asian culture and lived in Japan for some time, his one experience =/= the reality of Japan. Never mind that no one wanted to give a very clear answer on their credentials concerning the subject, which has led many to believe they simply have none. I also would have been more impressed if the guy had a Masters because, honestly, having a Bachelors doesn't give authority to teach the subject and it's laughable to try and use it that way.

Continuing with their line of Japan Is Awesome~!, they tried to justify rape simulators as saying if they didn't exist, more women would be raped, and that the existence of such games have actually helped decrease the number of sexual assaults in Japan.

I'll let you mull that over for a bit.

Done? Good.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. Where the hell are they pulling these statistics? Japanese assault rates going down? Okay. Increase of rape simulators? Okay. THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE. Want to know why? Because Japan has been introducing new laws and ways to keep women safer because there was an increasing problem with assaults. One of these ways is the all-women train cars. I'm going to bet that train incidents have decreased not because of rape emulators, but because women have the option of riding in a gendered car. But that's logic talking, and we all know how logic works.

And it's not as if Japan hasn't correlated sexual perversion and violence with media. That was how the term "otaku" was coined. It also became a hot topic a few years ago with the Sasebo Slashing. In our culture we often condemn violent and sexual media when we learn that the assailant enjoy such things (see school shootings and the boy who committed suicide and obsessively listened to Blink 182's Adam's Song). However, our backlashes in comparison are not as intense. On the flip side, Japan actually made a minor celebrity out of a murderer who ate his victim by allowing the publication of his memoirs and a publicity circuit to several talk shows.

If that wasn't enough, Pink Godzilla was asked why they didn't have or didn't invite a woman onto their panel. The truth of the matter is, more often than not, women are the subject of sexualization in video games rather than men. In a discussion concerning sex in video games, it would have been well advised, if not necessary, to provide a woman gamer's view on the objectification and portrayal of our gender. And I'm not saying for her to rag on the industry, but open the discussion on what should and shouldn't be acceptable and how this could or will change. Make connections on how male objectification (not necessarily sexual, but definitely in image portrayal) can be just as bad and how it's reaching the same level as how females are portrayed.

Instead Pink Godzilla stated that although women make up 30% of Western gamers, a woman panelist was unnecessary because the industry is male dominated.

I don't even know where to begin with that, so I'll just let it speak for itself.

To top off the whole trainwreck, it was a poorly constructed train that they wrecked. Technical problems can be expected because technology likes to fuck with people, but Pink Godzilla was completely unprepared and it showed. Every little seam. From how to use their equipment to the quality of the information and discussion itself. Even their presentation screamed high school power point project.

Several people asked what was the point of the entire panel. Was it a power trip? Was it another way to stick it to the man of American culture? Was it to objectify Japan like we were at an anime convention? Was it to pull a fast one on PAX? Or was it to teach us the important lesson of what happens when you wait in line for an hour in order to discuss sex?

Either way, the panel did succeed in one thing. Discussion. We're all discussing it now, and technically that was the goal of the panel (I think, anyway). It also proved that PAX is listening and I look forward to a new group of panelists taking over the discussion next year because the topic has so much potential.

The Rabbit at PAX: Picture Blog

2009-09-07T14:12:00.001-07:00

Here's a few pictures I took over the three days of Penny Arcade Expo madness when I remembered I had a camera. I need a little bit more time to write about the panels I went to, the games and activities I played, and a little n00b guide for first timers next year, so hopefully these pictures along with the videos will be sufficient for now.

Friday morning lineup that wrapped all around the central park/garden area of the convention center.

I may have squeed a bit when I saw this giant wall of Edgykins next to a few mounted DSes featuring his game. Am beyond excited for this game, more on that later.

Mega64 guys at their panel. I wanted to note that this was the start of the constant cock chattering I heard all weekend. Knowing that Shawn's penis is shaped like a jet will always have a special place in my heart.

The nerditude even permeated the bathrooms. The game mentioned is No More Heroes 2.

CONSOLE FREEPLAY YAAAAAY. It was fairly empty on Friday.

One of the tabletop gaming rooms. There were several of these on the 2nd and 3rd floor.

Inconspicuous tapeage.

People actually using Pictochat-- when it wasn't crashing every ten seconds, anyway.

DS Gamers World Record, hold 'em high!

My and my friend's contribution. Can you figure out what games we're playing?

An example of the beach ball mayhem constantly happening in the queue room. On Sunday in the Omegathon Final line, this also included a giant game of Frisbee involving shirts. The queue ceiling won.

LOAD THE CANON, ARRR.

Bucking hell horse.

Jerry/Tycho's typed out text for Monday's comic.

In progress!

Mike/Gabe making fun of Jerry/Tycho when he finally made it to the panel.

The beginning of the Hot Dog Fairy.

Om nom nom color.

Old Republic panel on Saturday!

The queue room on Sunday's morning lineup. It was fairly close to 10am when I snapped this.

Entrance to the main exhibition hall.

Spider-man dancing. Unfortunately he did not win.

The chalk drawing that took all weekend to complete. It was found outside of the queue and main halls.

Next year I will need to take more pictures, or hire someone to take them for me.

The Rabbit at PAX: Video Blog

2009-09-06T23:15:00.000-07:00

I have so much to blog about in regards to PAX, but in the mean time, here's a few videos I was able to film while at the convention.

DS World Record

How many DS gamers does it take to break a World Record? Thousands. We packed the queue room on Friday night and watched Pictochat crash on itself over and over and over...

Saturday Morning Lineup

Bouncing beach balls around happened all the time in the queue room, though the Saturday morning entrance lineup had the most I had seen.

Pirate Swag

This is how real pirates pass out shirts in the exhibition hall.

American Hard Gay

I'd like to say the Sex and Video game panel will be best known for having a Hard Gay, but it will probably be best known for being the worst panel at PAX 2009. More on that later.

Spider-man Dancing

Unfortunately the audio has been muted by YouTube due to copyright issues, so I've embedded the file I uploaded on Facebook. Enjoy!

The Rabbit at PAX: Part 1

2009-09-04T01:26:00.000-07:00

For those of you who live near a GameWorks, you probably know that most are $10 for unlimited play on Thursday nights. Such is the case here in Seattle. Understandably this makes Thursday nights incredibly busy. My friends and I like to go down there anyway on occasion, and decided to go tonight. The day before PAX.

By the way, GameWorks is across from the Convention Center. Where PAX is being held.

Que large lines of mostly young guys and what I like to think of as my first experience at PAX because the guys were either wearing their PAX passes (WHY?) or smelly. And unfortunately many of them did not understand how GameWorks functions.

But that's okay because, you know what? I think GameWorks Thursday should be an important part of PAX for people staying Downtown. It's a great way to get a weekend devoted to gaming started, and it's only $12.50 if you don't already own a GameWorks card ($10 if you do).

Pro Tips for GameWorks:

-Make sure you're swiping your GAMEWORKS card into the machines and not your HOTEL ROOM KEY.
-If people are standing behind you watching you that you don't know, they're probably waiting to pay the machine you're on next. Which doesn't mean you should be a douche and swipe your card to play again.
-Don't bring your goddamn girlfriend who doesn't play, mmkay? Not only does she take up space and bitches obnoxiously about being there, but she discredits the girls who are actually there to play.
-Remember that there are girls who want to play, so don't try to kick us off of our machines.
-A back corner of the second floor hosts old school arcade games and usually isn't very busy. I was able to play Mr. Driller several times.
-It's usually best to ignore all the fancy-schmancy games out on the floor-- except for the SEGA Hummer game, OMG. It's like Hulk Ultimate Destruction in racing form.
-DDR USA is the worst DDR machine there, don't use it.

I'm listening to advice from my con going buddies about what to bring (DS is charging as I type) and we're heading down right around 10am. The only concern I have is that I sprained my ankle yesterday moving into my new apartment. Perhaps the world is trying to tell me something?

My pixel stomping grounds.

2009-08-30T00:57:00.000-07:00

I thought I would do something a little different and give some free loving to a few of my favorite websites and comics. You'll find all of them listed and linked on the right hand sidebar, and there's a number of them I won't go into detail here because, well, they're typically very well known and there is a very good chance you already know about them.

Also, feel free to recommend any webcomics and websites you think I may like.

SITES/BLOGS

-Hello Kitty Hell is dedicated to showcasing the absolute horrors of Japan's rabid commercialization through the form of Hello Kitty. From the Hello Kitty Bondage Love Hotel to lawnmowers, the blogger has taken it upon himself to reveal to the world the very depths of Hello Kitty's hold.

-Fandom Wank is dedicated to mocking and boggling at fans who take themselves too seriously. Chances are, if you're in a fandom, you already know of this website. For those of you new to fandoms, perhaps you should take a gander at His wife? A Horse and a fannish perspective of Harry Potter just so you know what you're getting yourself in to.

-Bento is a new trend in the West, and a rather healthy trend, too. Just Bento is one of my favorite bento resources. Not only is the blog full of pretty bento pictures, but the blogger shares recipes and tips that are worth looking in to.

-Bakerella is probably my favorite food blog. No only does she share gorgeous dessert pictures and delicious recipes, but she's also generous enough to run some fabulous giveaways. She's the queen of cakepops, if you know what those are. My personal favorite of hers is the cakeballs. I actually had friends and coworkers fight over them (albeit I slightly modified her recipe to include fresh strawberries and strawberry frosting). And I made at least 75 pieces.

-Urban Dead is a browser adventure type of game where you get to play as a zombie or a human. Think of Kingdom of Loathing, but completely multiplayer. I've been playing as a zombie for about six months. It's a great time waster and great for those who enjoy the zombie genre.

COMICS

-Darths & Droids rose to the feverish callings of a DM of the Rings version of the Star Wars movies. Basically, it's Star Wars told through DND. If you have a basic understanding of DND, plenty of nerd humor, and enjoy both movie franchises, I suggest you check both of them out. DM of the Rings is rather short in comparison to Darth & Droids, in case you're rationing your mindless internet time.

-Stricken Pot Pie is currently on hiatus, but I hope it comes back soon. It's a story of a bear and a bird where each panel is completely hand sewn. I kid you not.

-Awkward Zombie is another nerd comic with a heavy emphasis on the Smash Brothers franchise. The comics are actually fairly funny with quick and obvious humor.

-I'm a long time Sailor Moon fan, so it's no surprise that I read Four King Hell!, a comedic look at the Sailor Moon metaseries through the eyes of the Shitennou, Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask's personal guard (you know, the bad guys in gray uniforms from the first season), and how they're going to bed one of the girls.

-KinkoFry is a very quirky and artistic comic with an offbeat sense of humor. I'm a fan of random and awkward and recommend it to anyone with similar tastes.

I Are Reviews: Kigurumikku - Episode 1

2009-08-24T22:32:00.000-07:00

I don't know very much about Kigurumikku at all, I tried to look up information about it, but didn't have any luck. Not that it matters much because the series is hilarious enough as it is. However, the intro might make more sense if I did know-- anyway!

I started watching Kigurumikku because I thought it was a Magical Girl show (three little girls with stuffed birds that they put on and fight evil with-- HOW IS THAT NOT MAGICAL GIRL?), but it turns out that's not quite what it is. In actuality, it's a big spoof on Sentai and the superhero genre. *faceinhands*

CURSE YOU, JAPAN. It's like the show was made specially for me. HOW DARE YOU FIND OUT MY WEAKNESSES. ;-;

SENTAI CHECK LIST:
1. Booming narrator voice announcing the heroics that occurred during the non-existent previous episode.
2. Very heroic 70's style music.
3. Fighting poses. Over ice cream. And anything else, really.
4. Hyperactive, oblivious heroine hellbent on whatever heroic justice thing they're usually obliviously hellbent on.
5. Ride bikes furiously to their mission! WHILE SINGING THEIR THEME SONG.
6. OMINOUS VILLAIN IN A CAVE.
7. Ridiculous transformation sequence.
8. Fight a ridiculous monster of the day (in this case, the monster is based off of a chocolate cream horn).
9. Long speeches about heroics and justice and empathy that outs one of the characters as being a complete loser.
10. A heroic kick full of justice as the final blow!
11. A teaser for the next episode.

MAGICAL GIRL CHECK LIST:
1. Tween girls with color coordinating outfits.
2. A talking plush swan that looks more like a duck.
4. Swan-duck familiar is hinted to be from another planet.
5. Henshin sequence activated by saying "Kigurumi Equip!" putting on all the different outfit pieces, and finishing with "Service Done!"

I'm sure you can guess all the spoof like elements and jokes of the series already. One I did leave out, though, is that during the fight scene, Kigurumikku-Swan addresses the all important question of what do super heroes do when they have to pee during battle?

The first episode is only about 12 minutes long (I believe it's an OAV series?) and consists of Azuki, Kigurumikku-Swan, and Mut, Kigurumikku-Falcon, going to an Okinawan grocer for special ice cream because Azuki ate all of Mut's mother's ice cream. Meanwhile Mut's sister, Nanami, repairs Miruku (the swan-duck thing) and eventually starts coming up with crazy theories about Miruku origins and beats him into telling the truth.

After picking up the ice cream, Chococrone attacks a nearby park. Azuki faces him, summoning a badly hurt Miruku (and Nanami who was holding Miruku at the time) in order to transform. Kigurumikku-Swan attempts to shame Chococrone into submission by asking why he didn't feel sorry for Nanami having 30 boyfriends and being rejected by all of them, effectively embarrassing her in front of the large crown that has gathered. Swan harness the feelings of pity from the crowd in order to deliver her finishing move and destroys Chococrone.

Meanwhile Nanami is beside herself in rage.

And somewhere in a dark place, the OMINOUS VILLAIN Generalissimo X blows up the Okinawan grocer Azuki and Mut had visited.

So how do I feel about this series? I ADORE IT. It's just too ridiculous for me to NOT love! I'm excited to see if Falcon ups Swan in the next episode, her introductory episode, since Mut seems more capable than Azuki.

The Rabbit at PAX: Down the Rabbit Hole

2009-08-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard of PAX (Penny Arcade Expo) before, let me enlighten you. It's a three day gaming convention at the Seattle Convention Center held annually by the guys who bring you Penny Arcade. Apparently PAX will also be happening in Boston next year.

This year is my first time going and I recently received my three day pass (red, for those of you wondering) in the mail on Monday. I'm beyond excited and will definitely be spamming my blog with PAX related goodness come Labor Day Weekend.

In the meantime, I thought I'd share some of the things I'm most looking forward to and would like to do at the convention.

1. How to Make it in the Back Door: A Rainbow Colored Perspective of the Game Industry
It's a panel run by gay people. You can already tell that it's going to be awesome just by the title that they came up with. How cheekily fabulous.

2. The Old Republic demo
There's two screenings with advertisements of goodies, I'm definitely going to get into one of them! KOTOR is one of the best RPGs around, so don't fail me!

3. Enter the Pokemon tournament with 5 Magikarps and a Ditto
Magikarp, use splash attack! Great, now counter with a splash!

4. Wil Wheaton presents: THE AWESOME HOUR!!1
It's suppose to be awesome!!1

5. Photos of the Worst Cosplay Evar
So I can torture my friends with the pictures later.

6. FREE STUFF
I couldn't go last year, and my friends gifted me a bunch of things, including a Fallout 3 handpuppet. I'm eager to see what I will be gifted this year, even if that means I have to gift a particular display to myself for free.

7. Pictochat being useful.
Finally, I won't have to chat by myself anymore. :(

8. PAX in general.
Since this is my first time going, I have no idea what to expect. I know I'll need my camera, DS, a suitable messenger bag, monies, maybe some extra foodstuffs as I've heard food is routinely expensive at conventions, cellphone, and maybe some air freshener?

I love you, nerds, but I've spent enough time stuck in a basement rolling D20s with your kind to recognize your stench. Don't worry, Febreze solves everything.

Woodland Park Hobo

2009-08-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

I went to the Woodland Park Zoo the other day. Sure, I'm 23, and sure, I've been there a few times before. It's true that zoos don't change very much, it's still animals being confined into tiny areas, albeit the areas now are definitely much better than what they used to.

In short, you really don't expect change at a zoo, it's hard to justify to your mid twenties self why paying $16.50 to see something you already have is worth it. You go to see animals, and you see animals. Sometimes you see overpriced ice cream cones and the occasional child screaming in horror, the later sometimes being a plus.

And then you go to the orangutan exhibit.

Now, what is a natural habitat for an orangutan? Trees, surely. Some vine like constructions that they can climb with. Rock ledges for perching purposes.

And, oh yeah, burlap sacks that they can use to pull over their heads while smashing their face up against the viewing windows.

I CAN HAS SACK? (click for larger view)

It's debatable on whether or not $16.50 is worth paying to see an orangutan imitate a hobo, but it was surely the highlight of my day.

Taking the hobbits to San Francisco.

2009-08-11T14:03:00.000-07:00

I went to San Francisco last weekend for a friend's wedding. A weekend surely isn't enough time, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself and wanted to share a few things I learned during my stay.

I hate toll booths.

Words cannot describe my utter rage for them. I've never been partial to toll booths, ever, I don't like the idea of have to stop and pay while I'm driving, or having to pay at all. The worst thing about these toll booths, though, is the sheer amounts of traffic they create. Stop and go traffic for over a half hour is a half an hour too much for me. It probably doesn't help that I'm prone to car sickness (though I thought I had gotten better considering I've become rather bus savvy since moving to Seattle) and was threatening to kill my driver in my sicken stupor while my head was dangling out the window.

At least I had it better than my other friend, the person driving that car rolled up her window the minute she rolled it down.

I would never leave SanFran if I lived there.

You cannot enter San Francisco without paying some kind of fare. Period. I'm sure the tolls are necessary, really, but after living in a state where tolls are virtually non-existent (never living in Gig Harbor ever), I can't stomach the idea of having to pay to come home.

However, I doubt I would care too much having SF as a prison. This has to be the best prison food ever.

Of course, this kind of food also exist in my SanFran prison, and it haunts me in my nightmares.

Seattle is a small city.

I've known that Seattle is smaller compared to other big cities, but inner SanFran confirmed that for me. I wasn't even in downtown and I was surrounded by four sides of concrete. And you know SanFran is a bajillion times bigger than Seattle when it can justify having a gym the size of the Pantheon (and look like it, even).

The French are more interesting outside of France.

I won't lie, my friends and I have several jokes about the French despite us being rather indifferent to them (I'm sure the French have some lovely jokes about us as well). Jokes like...them being the enemy and hitting each other with baguettes, or how I now hate America because I may have kissed one of them. Ahem.

Anyway, the truth is, despite living in the U District and having attended a large university, I have not had the chance to mingle with many foreigners. While these guys were drunk, they were truly nice and not the snooty and jackass perception many of us have about the French. Perhaps they were just looking for some pretty American girls, however, I think they were more curious about America in general. And maybe also why I say I'm from America when I, as said by them, don't look English.

From that last sentence, I'd like to point out the irony of any European that says Europe isn't racial conscious like America. I've never once had someone here question the validity of my nationality due to my ethnicity.

Also that those guys freely admitted that there are several places in Europe suffering from gross amounts of racism.

I need to stop saying this is the sketchiest bar ever.

Last year I went to Blue Moon and proclaimed it to be the sketchiest bar ever, what with the floor littered with peanut shells and hobos. And then I found this bar right outside of China Town. It looked innocent enough, very small and not too busy. However, the bathroom, holy shit the bathroom.

The flash omitted the scariest part about going to and actually being in this bar's bathroom: the dim and flickering lights. Also that the walls weren't completely connected leaving huge gaps of darkness, holes in the wall, lack of locks on the doors, etc. I honest to God though there were cameras hidden in the wall gaps and holes and a group of men somewhere were watching me and bidding on who was going to shoot me while I was peeing.

I want to say that's the sketchiest bar ever, but once I say that I'm going to end up in an even sketchier bar, and probably dead.

Being up at 4am does things to your vision.

My friend dropped me off at the airport at 6am for my 10am flight. By 6:30am I was through airport security and on my way in search of noms. The first thing I saw after walking out of security is this:

A ten foot plush orca (I named him McLovin). I almost think SeaTac put him there on purpose, to freak travelers out in the wee hours of the morning after having to shuffle through security. Perhaps they think the giant, smiling orca will placate any rage security may have caused.

It may have worked.

Alley cafes are the best and worst thing ever.

SanFran knows how to manage space. Stick six restaurants inside of an alley? SUCCESS. I saw many alleys full of cafes while wandering around the six block vicinity of my hotel. However, you know what alleys are also full of?

Pigeons.

Isn't that scrumptious?

All your free times are belonging to Miyamoto.

2009-07-31T16:59:00.001-07:00

Are you still a gamer when you lack the time to play video games anymore?

I've been asking myself this lately during my times between two jobs and the necessities of sleep. I've been itching to play all this week, but I simply haven't had the time. I still read up on gaming websites, glee about upcoming release dates, sift through Amazon seeing if I can afford a few games I do not have in my collection yet, and have already procured tickets and taken off time for PAX.

All of this time invested in gaming and I still haven't played anything apart from Free Cell on my iPod during my 10 minute break this entire week. In fact, my lovely DS has been packed up inside of my suitcase since the beginning of June when I visited my parents for a few days. That was the last time I actually sat down with it, and I love it in all its white glory that I bought shortly after the Lites were first introduced. The DS is my favorite child out of all my gaming items, and its been abandoned in a suitcase for months.

The last time I used my Wii was also in June when my roommates and I were looking for a Brawl fest. The last time I used my PS2 was to play a movie. I actually have used my PC for gaming lately, but even then it's for Heroes of Might and Magic V and The Sims 2. I wouldn't call those games very epic or involved (though I do think that point is debatable concerning my Sims 2 neighborhood, which is a mash of Harry Potter, Firefly, and Sailor Moon characters...and maybe a random elf that pimps himself out. Harry kissing Simon Tam has created a whole host of irreversible ramifications, not to mention that Kaylee is heartbroken because, even though Harry is off pimping himself, Simon is utterly devoted to him. This upsets Ginny).

Point being, I haven't played anything substantial. I've even bought more games during this two month time where I haven't played anything. On top of that, I have a large backlist of games I own but I haven't played or finished. The gaming industry has effectively screwed over my conscious and free time because I actually feel guilt for not playing and not finishing anything within a few months. I'm fairly certain I've been playing Kingdom Hearts (yes, the FIRST one) for three years. Three years. Though at this point I think the game itself may have partial blame because taking so long to finish it may say something about its quality. Never mind that I have KHII sitting on my shelf, eagerly waiting like the orphaned child I salvaged from a clearance sale at Target over a year ago for its turn of attention and affection.

On top of that, I have plenty of good games I need to finish or play before I even feel like moving back to Kingdom Hearts, and the minute the new Edgeworth game comes out, or a new Fire Emblem, or when I finally buy myself a X360 with all the oodles of games I want just for that system, KHII may have already grown up and moved out of the house by then.

Or not. This is a Disney and Squeenix game we're talking about.

Everything I need to know in life I learned from Pike Place Market.

2009-07-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

Working at Pike Place Market has taught me invaluable life lessons, more so than all the ones combined from watching every season of Boy Meets World (I'm convinced that Mr. Feeny probably setup shop here back in the 1700's, and thus how he learned all about life). Today I thought I would impart a bit of knowledge, a little glimpse into what surely takes a normal human being decades to learn-- if they're even lucky enough to do so.

Keep in mind that I sell fruit (mainly cherries right now, but moving into large, pitted fruits). This impacts the knowledge I'm about share with you somewhat, but that shouldn't matter too much.

1. Cherries have pits in them.
Boy did I not know that until I started selling these babies and a fellow mate in ignorance decided to try one in order to let me know whether or not cherries are pitted.

2. Different types of cherries are grown in Washington.
All of the cherries I sell come in boxes labeled "Washington Cherries." I figured that's what their name was, "Washington Cherries." Not "Bings," or "Rainiers," or "Vans," or whatever signs my employers ask me to put around the display boxes.

3. American money is hard to decipher because it isn't color coded.
I learned this from a European today. American paper money is really hard to count and confusing to use because it's all green, which means people actually have to look at and be able to read the number denomination in order to know the value, instead of being able to say, "Aha, pink is worth 500 dollars!" because the Euro is the currency of the entire world. It was invented before the Greeks.

4. Different types of cherries taste different.
So what if Rainiers are yellow and red, they're still cherries, so they must taste like Bings, right? In fact, all cherries taste like Bings. Even marcino cherries and cherry flavored Starbursts.

5. Just because it's a Farmer's Market in Seattle doesn't mean there aren't farmers selling from a foreign country.
When stating the name of the town or city your product is from, always make sure to say the location is within the state of Washington (example: "These cherries are from Cashmere, Washington"), otherwise consumers will rightly think your fruit came from Kashmir.

6. The best way to entertain a baby is to take multiple free samples.
Really, you just don't understand that hardships of child rearing and needing to steal handfuls of firm fruit in order to entertain your toothless baby by putting them in your own mouth.

7. It's important to know the prices of your competition states away from you.
Arizona is selling fruit cheaper than you? Make sure your lower your prices in order to sell competitively despite being several hours away!

8. The ONLY correct way to say "apricot" is "ah-pree-cot."
Not that the pronunciation isn't a regional dialect or anything. It's important to abide by the linguistic rules of the side of the state that doesn't grow apricots at all.

9. Always have a debit/credit card machine!
How dare a farmer's market be predominately cash only! I need to use my card for a $1 transaction that'll cost the local farmer at least 50 cents to process!

10. Always know where the nearest Japanese Animation and Comic Book store is located.
You never know when an otaku will need to get their fix outside of the International District.

FINALLY

11. Make sure you know what kind of fruit your selling.
Just because the box says they're cherries doesn't mean you aren't actually selling midget plums.

Why melted cheese rules me.

2009-07-20T22:41:00.000-07:00

Fondue is delicious. A large array of foodie bits next to a pot of melty cheese is one of the most amazing things ever. Imagine my utter disappointment when my mother revealed that, despite every trend her and my father managed to take up since the early 60's, fondue just wasn't one of them.

Skipping to now, I was beyond excited when I learned of The Melting Pot last year after moving to Seattle for college. I went again today with some old coworkers, now friends, for happy hour.

Let me tell you, fondue isn't cheap, and compared to happy hours I've been to before, The Melting Pot out-expenses all of them (which makes sense considering how much fondue is). But what I really wanted to talk about isn't how amazing melted cheese on bread paired with a good martini is, since we all know it's damn delicious, but this hilariously awesome promo The Melting Pot is currently doing.

I learned of the promo after visiting the main website as I needed to acquire an address for Google Maps. The Melting Pot is advertising its Facebook application.

Yes, a Facebook application.

On the plus side, adding the application gives you a coupon for a free chocolate fondue for two, given that you and your partner/friendly friend buy a regular pot of cheese goodness. The downside is that you have to add the application.

But free chocolate fondue is worth it, I tell you! And, actually, the application is quite amazing. See, you need to pick two of your friends you think should date and stir them into a graphic of chocolate fondue. So I picked my best friend's boyfriend and her brother.

I bet you're wondering why I find this so great as seemingly only I would know who I picked in order to get the coupon, and we're going to get to that part right now.

If you're paying attention, pairing two friends rewards you with a coupon...and a few emails to said friends and a Facebook announcement heralding that you think said friends should be together.

The Melting Pot application? Best Facebook application EVER.

Watchathon - July 10th to July 16th

2009-07-20T20:21:00.000-07:00

It's time for the second week of the Watchathon, and I think I picked a rather wide selection again, from animated, big eared mice to that gay cowboy movie.

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
Rating: For women it hits a bit close to home.

I actually really liked this movie, even though bits of it seemed gratuitous and unnecessary, like perhaps all of Drew Barrymore's scenes. I loved her character, but her storyline was shown so sparingly that you forget she existed until her face pops up on your screen. This was perhaps the biggest problem with the movie as the large number of characters vied for screen time, and it is clear who the victors were.

Each pair of characters represents a core issue when it comes to heterosexual relationships. There was a small representation of gay relationships (and stereotypical gay men), but the overall theme of the movie is the stereotype of women agonizing over Will He Call and the men who passively dump women by never calling, so I accept that perhaps a more substantial gay plot wouldn't have fit very well. That said, I adored that when the gay characters did share the screen, they were the ones giving out truthful and accurate advice on relationships.

And when I say the movie hits a bit close to home, I really mean that. The film is certainly a comedy, however, the subject matter is the truth of what happens in hetero relationships wrapped up in a convenient box. When a guy doesn't call us back, we do agonize over it. We stare at our cell phones, religiously check all forms of messaging, ask our girl friends why he might not be calling, make excuses to ignore the truth that he simply isn't in to us, and we build the guy up so much in our heads that his fall from our heart breaks it. That sounds extremely melodramatic and ridiculous, and I've read a review from at least one man who thinks most of the drama in the movie is fabricated.

Well, it isn't. The only thing that's fabricated is how closely intersected all the characters are despite having solitary story lines. So girls, grab your female friends, and guys, take notes, as He's Just Not That Into You pokes at our crazy mating rituals.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Rating: If you haven't, you should.

It's true that calling Brokeback Mountain "The Gay Cowboy Movie" understates the true story of the movie. Yes, it's about two male cowboys falling in love, but it's clearly about how social pressure can destroy lives and the sadness of how it can prohibit love. That said, I teared up more watching He's Just Not That Into You than this movie, and I find something rather disturbing with that.

I feel that the characters are dynamic and they all mix believably together. My favorite character interactions are between Jack and his wife, Jack and Ennis, and Ennis and his daughter Jr. But I felt rather detached while watching this movie, and I think a lot of it had to do with how much time the film covered. I didn't fall in love with Jack and Ennis at the beginning like I should have, and I think if I had their journey would have been much more poignant and their end much sadder for me.

That said, it seemed that the characters always cried at the appropriate times I would have. I certainly felt like a voyager, and their display of emotions emulating for me. While I think a movie should stir the viewer into an emotional response, at the same time I think it's worth noting that I felt like voyager, that I was watching their lives unfold and knew very clearly that I was watching a story, a story that wasn't mine that I couldn't relate to, that wanted to be told. So I don't think my lack of response is a bad thing, or at least that's what I'm trying to justify to myself, but I certainly think it's a movie that warrants viewing.

GET SMART
Rating: Did I mention I love Anne Hathaway?

I grew up watching Get Smart. I loved it, my parents hated it, but they suffered through it because Nick at Night was better than MTV at Night. That said, I think why I enjoyed the movie so much is because of my fond memories of the original TV show. There were a lot of throw backs that I missed, of course, since I was a child upon watching the original, and I probably would have enjoyed the movie even more if I had.

However, I believe there is enough for people relatively new to the idea of Get Smart to enjoy. The humor is straight forward enough, and given that the Bond series has just gone through a reboot, Get Smart came out at a great time.

Does that mean it is an excellent movie? Not even, but it's good, mindless entertainment.

THE TALE OF DESPEREAUX
Rating: I turned it off before it ended.

That's right, I turned off an animated movie before it ended. I love animated movies. I absolutely adore them. If I had to chose one passion in life, it would be animation. This is why I picked up Tale of Despereaux in the first place. It does have a few redeeming qualities, the story is interesting and some of the visuals are amazing (enough that I might like to pick up the children's book). For example, the fairy tale within the story has a very pop up picture book feel to it, the depth that was captured was gorgeous.

But the movie is slow and unexciting. The characters are bland. I can't fathom how a child could sit through this movie, especially since I witnessed child restlessness during Wall-E, a movie far more fast paced than this one. Normally I would stick out movies just to know how it ends, but I just didn't care. And that, friends, proves the lack of proper story telling.

MARIE ANTOINETTE
Rating: I ate maybe half the cake.

Visually Marie Antoinette is beautiful. The costumes, the sets, and (my favorite part) the food looked luscious, bright, and artistic. I actually really enjoy period dramas, especially concerning royal courts. Marie Antoinette was decent, but I feel that certain parts of the plots and themes were downplayed in order to present Marie as a precursor to, as the movie synop put it, partying like a rock star.

In order to portray "rock star" Marie, the movie was given a very modern soundtrack, and it worked very well with the movie. I was impressed how well, actually, as it didn't detract from the movie being set 300 years in the past. I also liked that many points of Marie Antoinette's history was suggest rather than spelled out, however, like I said before, I believe this downplaying is the reason why the film isn't more than decent.

I'm not a fan of Kirsten Dunst, but the Marie she was meant to portray was done very well. The women who portrayed her inner circle also performed well as I can remember their characters quite clearly. Everyone else is very much pushed to the back when with the character of Marie, perhaps this was intentional, but I think I may just give Kirsten Dunst the benefit of the doubt for this one.

Tango Restaurant in Downtown Seattle

2009-07-12T22:14:00.000-07:00

My friend and I are currently on the hunt for the best dessert (coupled with a great dinner) in Seattle, inspired by a Seattle Magazine article from last year. Currently she and I have visited the Cheesecake Factory located across from the convention center and Tango, which is on the corner of Pike and Borne.

Since the Cheesecake Factory is a chain restaurant, I thought I'd share some thoughts about Tango instead.

One of the best things about Tango is on Tuesdays happy hour lasts all day, and the happy hour food is delicious (all their menus are listed on their website). Since Tuesday is coming up here shortly, I highly recommend you grab a friend (or more) and go. My friend and I met up after work at 6pm, and it was fairly quite, which was nice.

We went there primarily for the desert El Diablo, which is a large cube of dark chocolate rub in cayenne pepper floating on a pile of burnt meringue and topped with almonds and cocoa bean chunks. And when I say a cube of dark chocolate, I seriously mean a cube. But the chocolate is really fluffy, like it has been whipped and reshaped into a cube. Regardless, the desert is incredibly rich and we believe is meant to be share between several. We brought home the remains of the cube to my roommate, and even she couldn't finish off the rest. I think it may be a four person undertaking.

Anyway, from the happy hour menu we had the muscles, fundido, gachas de ajo, and the pulled pork. The fundido is absolutely delicious, it's basically toasted bread that you top with melted cheese, sausage, and a slice of apple. Highly recommended. My friend adored the muscles and ate nearly all of them. The pulled pork is paired up with a rather mild salsa that is meant to be wrapped inside of a tortilla, and rather good, too. The gachas de ajo, however, is basically spicy humus. I like humus well enough, but compared to the other three items we ordered, it wasn't good enough.

My friend ordered the house sangria, which we wouldn't really classify as a sangria. I ordered the Tango Colada and was quite pleased. Overall she and I spent roughly $24 per person. We included a larger tip because we gave our good humored waiter some guff, and any wait person willing to put up with us and our weird conversations is deserving of our money.

Great food, delicious desert, good drinks, and great staff. I'd love to go again.

Watchathon - July 2nd to July 9th

2009-07-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

One of my current jobs is working for a certain video rental chain. In the interest of keeping my job, the only thing I will disclose about my employment is that I have the opportunity to watch at least five movies a week for free. This means I watch lots of movies, sometimes before they're available to rent.

This week's movies are...

FANBOYS
Rating: MUST SEE if you care whether or not Luke wanted to tap Leia.

You've probably already heard of this movie considering that Fanboys is a very nerdy movie and this is a rather nerdy blog. For those of you who haven't (seriously, who are you and why are you here?), the main premise of the movie is a group of old high school friends meet up in their early twenties in 1998 and road trip across the US to Skywalker Ranch in hopes of seeing Episode I before it is released about in about six months.

There may be something about cancer and true love and mending friendships, but it pales in comparison to the sheer geeky hilarity worked into each scene. So what if the movie wasn't a critical masterpiece? That wasn't the point. I was amazed and truly enthralled by the little details in the sets and clothing, and I'm sure there was much that I missed considering I'm just a casual Star Wars fan. And that is the point. It became a 90 minute Where's Waldo fest for the fans that fell in love with the franchise back in the 70's and the new generation they passed that love on to. It was made so we can reminisce, at times laugh at ourselves, and overall remember why we still love this franchise, the cash cow that it is, thirty years after its creation.

While the Star Wars allusions will top the list for many Star Wars enthusiasts, for me it was the exploration of the contemporary problems concerning the social acceptability of being a nerd. While this was portrayed quite humorously through the various battles of our Star Wars protagonists and Trekkie villains, one of the main dilemmas for the characters is the immersion into fantasy versus The Real World. I feel that the movie stayed true to its 1998 roots, however, many of the ideals and arguments given still apply to today, eleven years after the setting of the film. Plus, it has the Shatner. And you thought he wouldn't appear this year since he wasn't in the Star Trek reboot. Tsktsk.

BRIDE WARS
Rating: Funny until it became too vengeful for The Goddamn Batman.

I like Anne Hathaway. I may even love her. She portrays sweet and interesting characters, let alone that she gives me an excuse to watch Chris Pine and his pompous accent. However, her charm couldn't save me from this movie. Not even her pseudo-relationship with Chris Pratt, co-star in one of my most favorite TV series ever, could stop my palm smacking my head. By the time her amazing sex dance occurred (if you've seen Fanboys, perhaps you're realizing a trend here?) I simply did not care about how it would end, other than I wanted it to end.

I was initially excited for this movie to come out. I love chick flicks, as a girl I can say this without shame. As a woman in her early twenties watching many of her friends engage and marry, weddings have easily become a steady part of my life (in fact, I just finished being in one in late May and will be traveling for one again in early August). Bridezillas is a pleasure of mine, the melt down of a ghastly bitch is like hot fudge on a very creamy sundae. Perhaps I expected too much, or perhaps the movie expected too much of itself as half way through the warring friends were straining to outdo each other in very over the top and vindictive ways.

I'll be the first to admit that my gender is very catty. We're prone to jealousy in rather backwards ways, so the heated conversations between Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson and drawing the line between their mutual friends, let alone the fiances watching stupidly from the background, is to be expected. Perhaps the movie anticipated this and decided to throw a big curve ball of not only one Bridezilla, but two, and watch them rampage around the city shambles that has become their lives. And we're talking about Mecha Bridezillas, here. The armored souped up ones that have added help your friend lose her job and destroy your friend's relationship during their wedding to their list of finishers.

While the movie leaves a sour aftertaste, it will only help sweeten your current BFF relationship under the mutual understanding that you would never replicate the movie in real life. It's nice to know that your friends have the same moral standards as you do.

DEATH AT A FUNERAL
Rating: Alan Tudyk isn't the only reason to see this movie.

I can't even begin to describe how absurdly funny Death at a Funeral is. I started laughing a minute into the movie, and the scene fit seamlessly into the plot and just kept rolling. Much of the humor is quiet, lots of one liners, misunderstandings, and just the wrong place at the wrong time. There is plenty of physical comedy present as well, rather unrealistic, but at the same time the overall feel of the movie lends itself to the believability of Alan Tudyk's character on an acid trip for most of the movie, for example.

It's hard for me to write much more without giving away good portions of the movie, and a lot of what I would like to rave about simply would not make sense without any context. For those of you who enjoy Monty Python and Wes Anderson films will most likely enjoy this movie.

Plus Alan Tudyk runs around naked. That's 3 Firefly cast members shirtless down, only 5 more to go.

TEETH
Rating: Just to say you have.

Teeth is not necessarily a horror film. Okay, for females it isn't a horror film, for males it very much is, and it should be. As a one liner, Teeth is about a penis eating vagina. In more lines, Teeth is about the exploration of modern sexuality. It features A typical male behavior where the woman lays submissive to their advances, sexual and not. Eventually the tables are turned when the female lead adopts a more modern ideology to sex for her own empowerment.

This isn't to say the movie holds an anti-sex and man hating message. The main reason why the "horrible" turn of events occurs is because the characters of both sexes are ill-educated and sheltered, mentally and physically. The female protagonist has no understanding of herself or agency, and the men believe women are to their subjugation rather than their equal. All of this plays out against the backdrop of a small Christian town.

That also isn't to say I didn't giggle every time a guy lost his penis, because I certainly did, but the thematics of the movie extends far more than that. I appreciate the exploration of gender roles, society, history, and what it simply means to be a woman, and I certainly love that it was presented in a rather cheeky penis eating package.

A girl and her dead blog.

2009-06-21T22:26:00.000-07:00

The most amazing thing about blogging is how difficult it is.

I'm not new to the internet, I've been using it since the age of twelve. I transitioned smoothly into geek culture and know a thing or two about writing on the internets. This is why, back in November, I thought I could handle a blog.

Goodness was I wrong.

I have a number of entries waiting to be finished; long, humorous entries filled with photoshops, but that's just it, they need to be finished. In the mean time, I can't seem to think of any small entries worth posting. So I thought I'd introduce myself.

I'm CS, I'm in my twenties, a recent grad of the University of Washington, a huge nerd, loves a good party, and, oh yeah, I'm a girl. I'm ethnically Korean, but my heritage is American, which proves to be hilarious living in a city that's Asian conscious. It's comforting to know that Seattle can be accommodating for other cultures, but I'm not one of those Asians. In fact, I enjoy clomping up behind Asians because I'm much taller than most of them, and their slow turn of horror is reminiscent of Japan's greatest export, Godzilla.

Clearly I'm a very considerate person.

My intent with this blog is to document my entertainment pleasures and life in Seattle. Between goofy entries about Ninja Turtles and lightsaber battles, I want to throw in some decent reviews from movies to video games and beyond. As I moved to Seattle only two years ago, I'm still experiencing many places and mustdo's in Seattle for the first time and want to document that here. I hope you'll stay with me for the ride.

Some Fridays I'd rather be with Super Mario than Mario the drunkard.

2008-11-07T23:43:00.000-08:00

Friday nights for a college student should be the highlight of their week, if not a close second to Saturdays. The typical college student should be "getting their drink on" with mutual peers happily attempting to forget the tedious nature of school work they just finished a week of and will have to pick up again the following Monday for another week (rinse, repeat). They flock to Dante's for $3 neon colored jello shots or, heaven forbid their week was horrendous enough for this, buy cheap drinks at Earl's.

For all intense and purposes, let's assume that the typical college student is at least 21, and therefore able to enter bars.

So staying home on a Friday night equates to near launching of the failboat, or so we've led each other to believe. Not being able to find anyone to go out with conveys your sadly small social circle. Choosing to stay in instead of partying conveys that maybe that stick can't go any further. Or you could be That Guy and fly the bars solo harassing the already well established circles of Girls Who Want You To Go Away and the Guys That Will Punch You If You Don't Leave The Girls Alone.

Please don't be That Guy, we don't like you.

So where does that leave me? Blogging about staying in on a Friday night on a Friday night probably speaks louder for me than I'm able to scribe, but let's roll with it for a moment.

I like to think I'm a perfectly socially capable individual that enjoys the occasional (okay, maybe many) drink and conversation applicable to the situation at hand. But my social circle is also limited, and whether this is due to have only spent a year in Seattle thus far or because I'm simply choosy to whom I associate myself with, well, I wouldn't know. And yet for all I know about myself, I can't shrug the little nagging voice asking me what the fuck I'm still doing at home on a Friday night punching Solid Snake's face in with Sonic via Brawl?

So this raises the question, is staying in a sign of social ineptness in a certain form, or is it simply a manifestation of the expectations we project on each other?

Because really, how impressive is it that you spend every weekend playing beer pong and buying $8 mixers for girls you'll probably never see again (or girls, already double fisting with the line of creepy guys increasing)? That's what I thought.